Bipolar Bipolar with ptsd?

[Deleted member 34561]

Hi all. I have a dual DX of BPD and PTSD. However lately I have been experiencing symptoms of bipolar. Racing thoughts and speech and hypergraphia (letter writing) an inability to eat or sleep spending money inappropriately losing my temper with my beloved and paranoid delusions and auditory and olfactory hallucinations (hearing and smelling people who aren't really there). I haven't been really depressed for months now but my moods are up and down like a bloody yo yo lately. I'm in recovery for alcoholism and since I started putting the drink down I've been remembering stuff long buried from my childhood including memories of my 'mother' sexually abusing me when I was very small aged 2/3 years before I could even speak properly. I understand there could be a huge link between my formerly repressed/denied memories and the strange symptoms I'm getting. I just wondered if anyone else here has been through similar? And if so what helped you? I currently take an antidepressant and an antipsychotic but I wonder if I would be better off on a mood stabilizer instead of the antidepressant and maybe up my dosage on the antipsychotic? I'm seeing my key worker next week at the local drug and alcohol clinic and will ask her if its possible for her to refer me to a psychiatrist so I can be properly diagnosed. I was first diagnosed with BPD and PTSD 14 years ago. I most definitely have the PTSD but the personality disorder? I really don't know. By the way I'm a perimenopausal woman. This too might be having a bearing on matters.

Thanking you in advance for your support.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm seeing my key worker next week at the local drug and alcohol clinic and will ask her if its possible for her to refer me to a psychiatrist so I can be properly diagnosed. I was first diagnosed with BPD and PTSD 14 years ago. I most definitely have the PTSD but the personality disorder? I really don't know. By the way I'm a perimenopausal woman. This too might be having a bearing on matters.

I would encourage you to follow through with getting the referral to the psychiatrist. There are a number of variables in your situation - if, for example, you were drinking when your current medication levels were set, your meds could now be causing mania. I'm not sure how this all works in the UK - if you were in the US, I'd also be suggesting that you have a complete physical done, including blood work, in order to rule out any physical issues, and get a baseline.

 

[Cannottakethis]

I agree with @joeylittle about the psychiatrist.
I have the DX of bipolar 2, bpd and ptsd as well, and I am a perimenopausal woman (fun times) and for me, any antidepressant sends me into mania, so I stick to mood stabilizers. 10 years ago, however, I was fine on the antidepressants. My body chemistry just changed. If your meds haven't been tweaked in a while it's good to get a "tune up". Our bodies are constantly changing so it's a balancing act with the medications.

 

[Powder]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through the intrusive or flashback memories of childhood sexual abuse. I can relate. Your symptoms when going through that phase of healing can be very upsetting and add to your stress levels.

Getting sleep, gentle exercise, and nutrition, and ensuring that you feel safe 100% of the time, is key to getting through this, as is having a constant means of access of support if needed.

Meds and testing should be carefully monitored with a caring and trained psychiatrist, therapy and nutrition can be delegated to others.

Best of luck with managing this. I don't blame your meds or being off alcohol for the memories. Joseph Campbell said "What goes down must come up" to summarize the psychoanalytic theory that dissociated traumas (He called the "shocks" to include emoitonal upsets) from childhood will surface in behaviors (drinking) or in memories (direct re-experiencing). It is better to remember and then process and have the resulting self-knowledge, self-control, and power. I personally don't understand this all in any theory, but the old idea that soul loss has occurred and now the soul part is coming "home" and making you stronger, even though it's going to be rough for a while, is a meaningful way of expressing this challenging process.

What, may I ask? is the content of the letters you are writing? I'm not a T, but rather than call it a manic symptom, perhaps there is a real basis for doing it that is meant to purge something that is helpful.

Best wishes for continued healing. Way to go on stopping drinking in recovery. Good for you, you're on your way!