Dom Violence Blame Myself For Him Beating Me

[Deleted member 38644]

why do I still feel like its my fault when my ex beat me as he please? sometimes I blame myself because of my actions and if I would never done anything wrong he would have never beat me like that. I felt like I am the one who pushed him. the blood images inside my mind never goes away:( I feel like everything that happened to me including his family members taking over my first apartment. It was very first apartment and I had to flee leaving my furniture inside to escape abuse. I had to throw away nearly everything I own to escape on a sunday morning. I lost everything, I lost my apartment because I did nothing but struggle. 2016 is when I got justice for it. his girlfriend at the time got a thrill out of him beating me so she seen it as humor so she kept doing things to make him mad just to come over and beat me. I didn't fight back I only balled up in a fetal position and covered my head and face. I am sorry this is the furthest I can write :(

 

[J'qel]

Because it was an abusive relationship and that's pretty textbook? Every abuser feels like they're responsible because that's what an abuser instills in their victim.

You're not God, you don't *make* anyone do anything. You can agitate, but you can't actually make anyone do anything they don't want to do. Every person is ultimately responsible for their own behaviour.

 

[Enaila]

@Lauren Taylor , :hug: you have chosen to be brave and take a huge first step. I was just sharing with a friend that only one responsible for abuse is the abuser. I have been in your position...you are NOT to blame. Are you in a safe place now? I had to move many states away and start new with my boys, but know what? It was worth it and I did not have to "throw everything away." I kept myself and my children alive. No one has right to abuse another. As you heal, you will realize you are worth more than anything money can buy and worth being treated with respect.

 

[Deleted member 38644]

@Lauren Taylor , :hug: you have chosen to be brave and take a huge first step. I wa...

he beat me 2013-2014. State failed to protect me because of who his mom was. I remember when he told me "i won't ever be shit" "you ain't nothing and won't ever be nothing" . he used my family issues against me. he had his foot on my back so I wouldn't move. I remember when I walked around with blood all over my shirt, nobody did anything.

 

[Deleted member 38644]

He said I will never be blessed nor will I ever have nothing in life. He basically told me that im gone live a destructive path. every thing after him was so destructive and abusive.

 

[Enaila]

Shame on the state. Are you where you are safe and away from the nasty people? Such a scary feeling not having help when need it. :(

 

[Deleted member 38644]

Shame on the state. Are you where you are safe and away from the nasty people? Such a scary feeling no...

im back in a place now where im leaving shortly from but im not back in that same city. I am wanting to move to a different State further away. everything I endured has been nothing but a repeat not knowing.

 

[J'qel]

My mother beat the hell out of me, and she made sure that any time I said I wanted to do something in particular with my life to tell me I wasn't good enough and would never make it.

So I get the feeling.

No, my father didn't get involved except once when both of them had been drinking and she took after me because I couldn't get her beer bottle open with my bare hands. I think I was nine. I remember hiding under our coffee table to escape her, he told her to stop and that she was drunk. I fled upstairs and hid in my room for the rest of the night.

Only time he defended me, but I cherish it still.

 

[Deleted member 38644]

My mother beat the hell out of me, and she made sure that any time I said I wanted to do something in par...

this is another reason why this website is helpful. we all experienced similar trauma or in our own way that can relate to so many people

 

[Friday]

and if I would never done anything wrong he would have never beat me like that.

Try reversing it.

What do you believe qualifies for a beating?

If it were anyone else. In any other situation.

 

[Deleted member 38644]

Try reversing it.

What do you believe qualifies for a beating?

If it were anyone else. In any...

huh

 

[J'qel]

It's a good point.

Is there anyone you would beat the hell out of? Why? Do they "deserve it" would they be "making you" do it?