Boyfriend Has PTSD

[anom1]

Hi all.
I have been looking at this site since my partner admitted to me that he suffers with PTSD not long after we met. We have now been together for 5 months and I am struggling with how to cope.

I manage to trigger him without realising and he then goes into his 'shell' and can be quite nasty in this time. He will tell me that I am causing him problems and that I should leave him alone (which I have now learnt to do) however he will continue to send me nasty texts. After a while he will calm down, apologise. Ask me to promise him that I won't leave him for his behaviour as he loves me very much.

He is dealing with a big issue from the past at the moment (his ex has npd) and one minute is wonderful and the next minute he is taking everything I say the wrong way and telling me not to worry about him, stop panicking etc.

Is this all normal behaviour of someone with PTSD? and if so any advice on how to cope with this as I get so anxious walking on eggshells all the time!

 

[amethist]

Hi anom1

Welcome to the forum.

PTSD is hard to cope with as a carer at first, but as you learn how to manage your own reactions it will get easier. Walking on egg shells makes you more anxious and edgy, so you will have to find a way to stop yourself from doing this.

To start with try and remember it is probably not you who triggers him, but his own interpretation of what is going on at that moment. Right or wrong, it happens.

Refuse to except any nasty text from him, if he can't be nice then no texts. Ask him on a good day to not text you if he cannot be at least polite in them. Find a code between you where he sends maybe a one word text, which will let you know he needs space.

Sit and talk with him, again on a good day, and let him know you are willing to work with him with this, not against him.

Read as much as you can on the "Home Page", then come down to the carers section. There you will find a lot of useful threads to help you manage your own issues with this as well as his.

It is a rough and rocky road being a carer, no one will pretend it is an easy ride. But with a lot of patience and understanding it can smooth out eventually.

Take care and good luck.

Amethist