Boyfriend With Ptsd Constantly Pushing Me Away...

[Nico]

I'm sorry you are going through this...it's not easy. I think you need to take some time for yourself. Step away for a while and really think hard over this relationship. You absolutely should never beg for a man...now he has complete control. He knows he can treat you like crap and you'll take it and take him back with loving arms. That's not right...PTSD or not. There's some accountability on his end too and you can't blame everything on his mental illness. You don't deserve that kind of treatment and if he's drinking and refusing help for himself, you need to walk away. Let him be alone to work out his issues. It's ok to be alone...you know that...right? Get your life back together too...engross yourself in your hobbies and friends. I agree with what the one poster said about him being your soul mate, yet he's damaging your soul. That's truth right there. I'm in a shit situation too and I have tried to be supportive and I don't think my (ex)boyfriend is getting the help he needs. I had to walk away in order to keep myself healthy and work on getting happy again. I'm not going down a dark road that is out of my control and you shouldn't either. After some time off and he comes back around, then you both can talk about things, however I'd proceed with caution. He needs help.

 

[Seychelles101]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation insofar as my (ex)boyfriend also has (Complex) PTSD. The difference however is that he does go to therapy on a weekly basis, he does take his medication every day and he has NEVER been abusive to me in any way, shape or form. He does however push me away constantly and avoids things he finds difficult, so that he doesn't have to deal with uncomfortable situations/get triggered. This particularly relates to the mother of his children who has Borderline Personality Disorder - trust me, it's difficult, but these are things he's going to have to learn/experience, with the help of a therapist.

Prior to his crisis we were so emotionally intimate and connected. I'm not sure if you even live with your boyfriend as you've only been together for a year, whereas we've now been together for five, but when he had a major breakdown, my own therapist suggested that we live separately so that I don't have to struggle with his condition on a daily basis, as his crisis was severe, so that he learns how to take care of himself and to learn new behaviours. This also enabled me to get back up to a healthy place, because as others have noted, this condition does take a big toll on the partner.

Although I do and can still feel isolated, I do go about living my own life a lot more now and can generally accept a lot less from this guy. I took a few weeks out and went travelling towards the end of last year, am embarking on a Psychology course and keep my options open in terms of a future with this guy, because it's unsure what recovery will mean for him. Either way my suggestion, like others, is to get a therapist for yourself and to join a PTSD support forum, because (fortunately) very few other people in your social circle are likely to have ever stood in your shoes. Hope that helps a little bit...