Brain Fried, No Dipping Sauce...

[Stickler]

I have a horrible attention span after the 2011 nervous breakdown.
I am feeling a lot better, but my attention span still really sucks, to an unpredictably severe degree.

Any ideas on ways to work through it?

I will get back to meditating? Just that I stopped because I could not engage in meditation without bringing up intense grief...which would be ok, having tears rolling...but my nose snots up and swells remorselessly.
Eventually snot's down my face and I can't stop sneezing...not so good for practice.

I am afraid to really get still and calm because that grief's still present? But I ain't functioning too well with this goldfish-like attention span.

 

[watundah]

Have you ever tried art therapy or journaling? Any other kind of craft? Jigsaw puzzles? Busy hands are happy hands. Seriously, I love being 100% focused on a creative project. It can make everything else fall away.

 

[Friday]

I generally run with a thing for awhile. Embrace the suck. If I'm gonna be flighty as hell? Then I do that, on purpose, just run with it. See what I can do with it. And then I start pushing at the edges. <grin> usually by starting in the middle.

If I have any area where I can concentrate? I do that. First I just enjoy it. Ah. Finally. Here. Then I play with it a spell. What makes this special? What are the pieces that I can use? Try applying them in different areas. Wait for the push. Where is there resistance? Where is there flow?

And then I run with that for a spell. Enjoy the flow. Puzzle out, push up against the push in different ways. Figure out the edges of a thing.

Each piece? Buys me some knowledge. Maybe it's moving my body. Maybe it's being warm and sleepy. Maybe it's the first few hours after I wake up, or the last few before I sleep. Maybe it's being outside, or being with this person but not that person. Keep playing. Keep pushing. Keep adding a little bit here. A little bit there.

It's sloooooow going. Takes time & patience I don't really have. But the time? It will pass no matter what I'm doing. So may as well spend it learning to do what I want.

 

[Stickler]

@ FJ...hmm...will mull that.
@ Tundah...hmm. Many paintings, unfinished, sitting around...I'm somehow afraid to finish...And I am itching to paint but feeling like I mustn't do THAT, I have to go get a JOB and stop using my mother like this?

How dare I enjoy life while I'm being such a waster?
I am a bad child and I deserve punishment! Not happiness!

Except that not enjoying life means I get too depressed to function...and go get a job...
:confused:
Self-care feels like a luxury, but it isn't, is it?

I feel afraid to move in any direction, so I just...don't, and my brain skips around.

 

[Ronin]

I poke fun at it. Being serious about shitty attention leads me to melts & can't-do-a-darn-thing & self loathing related to lacking / inaccessible skills, so finding humor about attention helps.

Also talking to other people about it. Found I hold myself to impossibly high standards. What to me is totally shot attention is their idea of deep productive focus every so often.

 

[Born to Run]

I could recommend Lumosity (lumosity.com), as you can train your attention span by doing cognitive fun exercises. I used it after I had brain surgery, and left me with a very slow brain for over a year. It really worked as I could see the daily scores and trends over months go up. You can try it out before having to purchase anything.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

When I meditate, I have to pick something to focus on entirely, or I end up in flashback city. I usually picture myself in an empty white space, correctly executing techniques that I am currently struggling with. That way, I am able to reach that calm, empty feeling without my past intruding.