Breaking the cycle

[IamFree]

Was wondering why in my adult life I seem to be attracted to and attract people who resemble my original care givers and family of origin even though I get distressed and triggered and end up feeling abused..my parents were codependent addicts.

 

[Supervixn]

Part of you is recreating those past relationships and trying to resolve what you couldn't resolve.

Find a therapist if you haven't got one and find out what it is about these relationships that drew you in and kept you. Dig deep and you will find answers and a therapist will help you with solutions.

Be kind to yourself and good luck.

 

[IamFree]

yes good plan thankfully I have begun therapy and we have a good relationship cant wait to see her wednsday..just had a paticuarly triggering evening in work with such a person..its seems like setting boundaries and pulling away is so difficult..its like you can get addicted to these people but I do not want and deserve this in my life anymore.

 

[Deleted member 541]

We kind of seek out what we are used to, comfortable with. It's not that we want this, it's what we know. Change is difficult, and it's easy to fall back into old behavior, relationships.

The good thing is that you have recognized this.... So now you need a plan on how to stop the behavior.

 

[IamFree]

absolutely this seems to happen on an unconscious level until I am so enmeshed with such a person its so difficult to untangle .

We kind of seek out what we are used to, comfortable with. It's not that we want this, it's what we know...

yes I was just thinking the other day we will keep on going back to what we know until we find a way out of it..