Brief Introduction -- Lots Of Uncertainty

[grammartart]

After a year and a half, my long distance relationship has unraveled due to PTSD. For six months, we were working toward being together full time -- not just brief visits -- and then my BF had a sort of emotional break that ended our plans.

He has since learned that he has symptoms of PTSD and is working on getting better, but our relationship as it was is over. I don't think I'm handling things well, though I'm trying very hard. I do not deal well with uncertainty, and that seems to be the only thing right now that is certain. I want to be strong for him, but I don't know if I am strong enough. I still love him, but the growing resentment and anger increases the sadness I already feel.

Reading the posts here has resulted in a mixture of emotions. I can see him in so many of the discussions. I am definitely becoming better able to understand what he is going through, but it isn't offering me much hope. I'm wondering if I'm helping him or hurting him at this point.

Thanks in advance for reading this.
emme

 

[amethist]

Hi emme

It is hard when plans fall apart through probably no fault of your own. Relationships with PTSD involved are very hard for some sufferers to handle, no matter how good the supporter is.

Read the following link, it may just help you to understand more of how hard this may be for him.

[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/[/DLMURL]

Come down to the supporter section, where you will find other supporters struggling with their relationships, and how they are trying to cope with it all too. There is also plenty of threads to read, of how you can help yourself, to be able to help him.

Take care.

Amethist

 

[intothelight]

I still love him, but the growing resentment and anger increases the sadness I already feel.

Hi Emme,

Welcome to the forum. I have a great respect for supporters and the difficulties they face in a relationship with a sufferer. The only thing I can suggest is that you take a look at the effect this relationship is having on you. You have to put yourself first, whether or not you decide to continue the relationship.

Keep reading the supporter information as many have been in a similar point you are at, and their personal experiences may be of benefit to you.

Take care.
Debbie

 

[grammartart]

[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/[/DLMURL]

Thanks for the above link. This is a good visual for understanding the relationship between stress (good and bad) and PTSD. Since he doesn't get angry, I'm trying to see how the cup explanation applies to him. Maybe there is so little room for the bad stress that he doesn't deal with it at all? I'm unsure. There is a lot to digest.

 

[anthony]

Emme, everyones PTSD is different and manifests uniquely in symptoms and responses. As you said, he only has symptoms... what symptoms and to what extent, and whether he actually has PTSD itself... very different things.

Good to see you caring though even though the relationship is over, and wanting to learn to understand for your own self. Well done.