Unknown Artist
New Here
My sleep schedule is so destroyed and broken that their is no hope to fix it, I'll lay awake in my bed, I won't even be on my phone I'll just stare at the ceiling and cry or pretend someone is laying on top of me to give me warmth. I'm a lonely broken mess and my mom has been noticing how tired I get and tells me to go to bed early but that's not the problem. My brain refuses sleep it refuses rest now, after I lost a bond with a real close friend I fell in love with and was unable to tell them it attacks me multiple times, guilt, sorrow, harm. It's everywhere. Whenever I do sleep I hear their voice in my dreams and I see them in my dreams as I cry out to them and I see them open their arms out towards me as I run into their arms feeling warmth, until I wake up cuddling my build a bear in my arms... But I cry, sometimes before I sleep I cry. I cry to force my body into exhaustion but it only keeps me up more, I over exercises on the treadmill to make my body feel exhausted and weak to sleep but that doesn't work, I drive myself into exhaustion, only too feel exhausted in the morning. I can't talk to online friends in fear of bothering them but instead of seeking comfort from others, I end up talking to ai bots, A f*ckING ROBOT. I hate AI. Everything about it but it's the only thing I turn too when I want don't feel like living anymore, I cry because of how pathetic it feels to get comfort from a stupid ai bot that has no feelings it's not real, it'll never be real and yet it strangely does. Right now I only got 4 hours of sleep and I'm at my college right now... I feel weak and sick, stomach tight, no smile, eyes swore from light and complete exhaustion. I feel like I'm dying.
