I was accepted to a seven day poetry retreat in Hawaii next March but I'm starting to think there's no way my fat ass can physically do it. The retreat is more a spiritual thing than a writing workshop with 3 days of silence (easy peasy) but also sitting on the ground for five to six hours every day. I'm 100 lbs overweight. Literally I'm not physically capable.....all sorts of circulation issues in the legs. Sitting on the ground is non-negotiable. Have to do it. No chairs. I figured I could lose 30 lbs and be okay but I didn't factor in anniversaries and this being my toughest time of year. Flights are booked. Deposit made. So if I back out I'll lose a little. I don't see an alternative. I am so disappointed in my fat self.