Called "racist" When I Informed A Friend His Behaviour Was A Trigger

[Cat Herder]

This friend of mine who is black recently called me racist when I informed him that his aggressive manner of addressing me because he wanted me to delete something off of his Facebook wall actually was a trigger for me. Not because he is black so I don't know where he got racism out of it. People of any race approaching me aggressively triggers me and then there's a chain reaction of not so pleasant stuff.

Has anyone ever dealt with stuff like this?

 

[saffy]

Yes. And I realised that it is part of their own issues of inferiority, minority and a big chip on their shoulder.

Any form of aggression is bad no matter what colour people are. Getting your point across aggressively, as your friend is doing is about how he sees himself and his own issues of how to communicate.

His attack on you in regards to racism is lashing out to get heard and his own way. Playing the rascist card is just a defensive way of not loosing face. Instead of apologising he has swung it back on you expected you to apologise, which is not acceptable and just bully tactics.

I hope you have not taken it personally as you yourself know you are not a racist. If he behaves like that towards me though I would certainly not see him as a 'friend'.

I hope it gets sorted for you. Delete him off if he is that bad. He certainly has no rights in talking to you that way no matter what you have done.

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Cat Herder]

He'll go around town calling me racist if I even just unfriend him on Facebook.

 

[saffy]

He needs to get to grips with his own issues instead of thrusting them on other people.

As long as you know you are not a racist then let him go on his merry way.

People who listen to him are not important to you. If they were they would know you are not what he claims.

Resorting to name calling is just immature and should be ignored. If he cannot understand that it is his behaviour you do not like and not him then he will go through life feeling attacked. His behaviour is not acceptable no matter what colour he is.

You have done nothing wrong with asking him not to talk to you the way he did, that is part of his behaviour. By not realising this it shows his mentality. His mentality is a reflection on him not anyone else.

It would be no point in trying to reason with someone who behaves like this but walking away with the motive of not accepting his behaviour towards you is easy if you let it. No ties and no contact to make your point.

Make any point short in that you are severing ties/ignoring him for his behaviour towards you not because of his colour. Just because he is ethnic and angry does not give him the right to go around treating people like shit. The quicker he learns this the better he and everyone who comes into contact with him will be. :)

Take care of you.

Best wishes
Saffy :)