Relationship Calling long time supporters! Tips on surviving the early years!!

[Livinginhope]

I'm almost a year into a relationship with a sufferer. It's not easy!

Long time supporters here have such great insight and advice. I thought it might be helpful for us newbies to hear what the early years were like for you, the ups and downs, the first disagreements, the isolations, how you developed coping mechanisms etc?

Thanks x

 

[Sweetpea76]

The first year is hard... well maybe the second six months of the first year. The first six months seem to be the honeymoon phase. What PTSD? Then *bam*, right in the face. The honeymoon is over, and you finally start to see them when they’re symptomatic, lashing out, isolating, or what have you. That’s just the tip of the iceberg

Best advice ever... Set boundaries and enforce them now. You’re teaching your partner how to treat you. If you tiptoe, they’ll expect tiptoeing. If you accept crap behavior, or wait around for months on end while they ignore you, you’re establishing a pattern of behavior. Empathy is one thing, being a doormat is not the same thing.

 

[Mytime]

I was married for 18 years before PTDS came into my life. Hubby’s a firefighter and it felt like I woke up one day and BAM!!! The first year is definitely the hardest. I agree with @Sweetpea76 .

 

[Livinginhope]

The first year is hard... well maybe the second six months of the first year. The first six months seem to be the honeymoon phase. What PTSD? Then *bam*, right in the face. The honeymoon is over, and you finally start to see them when they’re symptomatic, lashing out, isolating, or what have you. That’s just the tip of the iceberg

Best advice ever... Set boundaries and enforce them now. You’re teaching your partner how to treat you. If you tiptoe, they’ll expect tiptoeing. If you accept crap behavior, or wait around for months on end while they ignore you, you’re establishing a pattern of behavior. Empathy is one thing, being a doormat is not the same thing.

Thanks @Sweetpea76 for solid advice. Not the first time you've shared great insights with me. It's very much appreciated.

I'm trying hard to set my boundaries these days. And no, being a doormat is totally unhealthy and unacceptable. I have needs, feelings and rights too, and I'm expressing those when necessary.

I know there's no easy path through a PTSD relationship. Boy, I've learnt a lot on that front in the last six months!

Thank you, as always, for your thoughts and tips. Every single piece of advice is gladly received x