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Can’t Leave Apartment

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Dani223

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I got triggered and I’m totally isolating. I’ve had several panic attacks and had to call in sick to work. I feel like I was getting better, and now I’m back to square one. I go to weekly therapy and have a psychiatrist. I know I need to go out and exercise and shower and eat, but I just can’t. I’m so exhausted. I just joined this site. I guess I’m looking for words of encouragement, or just to know I’m not alone and totally crazy.
 
You’re not alone, and you’re not totally crazy! I’ve been stuck in my apartment before, with hefty doses of anxiety and depression keeping me pretty much immobile. It happens.

Good news? You will get through this:)

Maybe try shifting your expectations for a while. Instead of: I need to do everything, to the same standard.

You’ve called in sick to work? Awesome. Take some time out. You do need to eat, but just snacking on something rather than preparing meals is okay.

You don’t need to exercise today, so if you manage a 5 minute walk? Total bonus!

You don’t need to leave the apartment today, so if you go and check the mailbox? Party hands!

Do nothing for a day. Or do something soothing. Soak in the tub, paint your toenails, have a cup of hot cocoa...
 
I was there for almost 2 years. Before realizing my bigger picture of cptsd, I thought it was agorophobia because the symptoms fit. In my worst days (between therapy appointments) I've found that making a list of three small self-care things to do each day helped me at least regain a feeling of productivity. Changing my underwear/shirt, drinking water (I keep several bottles by my bed so if I'm not up to getting out of bed I can still drink until I'm forced to get up to pee), doodling in my journal or making a list, I've even praised myself for staying awake long enough to binge watch a new show. You're not crazy.
 
I hope you are still around the forum. It helped me so much when I was here before. I have been in self isolation for the most of my life in one form or another. I have panic/anxiety and am scared to leave my house. The hardest part was finally admitting to myself that this was a fact and I had to learn how to live my life with it. Once I allowed myself to feel any and all emotions and just went with the feelings--to stay home--or not--the self imposed stress eased up and life got easier. Quite frankly I also quit worrying about what other people thought.
 
I hope you are still around the forum. It helped me so much when I was here before. I have been in self isolation for the most of my life in one form or another. I have panic/anxiety and am scared to leave my house. The hardest part was finally admitting to myself that this was a fact and I had to learn how to live my life with it. Once I allowed myself to feel any and all emotions and just went with the feelings--to stay home--or not--the self imposed stress eased up and life got easier. Quite frankly I also quit worrying about what other people thought.

Can I ask what exactly makes you scared going out?
I'm isolating myself as well. I managed to go for a walk in the middle of the night a few weeks ago, but since I almost had a panic attack going to the supermarket I don't want to leave my house anymore. I'm afraid I will get a panic attack or vomit in public and there is actually no way to escape when you're out of the house. When do you know it's not agoraphobia for example?
 
Dani223, you are not crazy. People, including yourself, are too complex to be put in one category. And having a fear of leaving your apartment doesn't make you crazy. PTSD is a legitimate illness.
 
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