Can anyone help me? anyone have a religion or church?

[whiteraven]

So I'm not looking for community, or validation, or -Idk?- things people seem to rightfully want/ need. I'm looking more for an internal way to 'drop', a 'room at the inn'- or even stable, where it's safe enough to drop my guard. I for a long time found it at good churches, and with communion (the Eucharist, as @Freemartin refered), where perhaps even despite myself I could leave and get through, sometimes with more hope , tho both of those last words may not be the correct ones, peace of sorts, strength to continue, and to ideally- be joyful- but definitely not ungrateful or out of touch. (Try to not let the past or present make me b*tchy or hateful or bitter, and not drop to where I once was, the suicide attempts, etc.)

I am liking this thread. :-) I've tried a variety of "religions," was raised in the Protestant church - United Church of Christ - for the first 18 years of my life and it was pretty much my second home. I never *believed* though. It was just a safe place to go and do stuff. When I left home and went away to school, I lost that and over the next several years I belonged mostly to pagan groups, a general one and then a more specific Egyptian coven. I loved both because I found the care and acceptance and belonging there that I had never felt anywhere else.

For a time, I also belonged to the Unitarian Universalist Church. I also really like them and started there while I was in a crisis of faith. I had one insider who wanted to convert to Catholicism and one who wanted to convert to Judaism - at the same time. That wasn't going to work. I found the UU and discovered that they celebrate both Christian and Jewish holidays (along with others) and thought that might satisfy others, and it did. It ended up being a very safe, welcoming alternative for us.

Now, I am Buddhist. And it looks like that's where I'm staying. :-) I don't go to any temple or even meet anywhere for meditation (although my therapist does happen to be a Zen priest and so we incorporate teachings and meditation into therapy). I do everything at home or "on the go." Thing is, this is the *only* thing that has ever brought me true inner peace and I am convinced that one has to have inner peace before there can be outer peace. I've noticed significant difference since I started meditation. It's a process/a journey, so I'm still working on it. But I'm feeling stronger in small ways every day.

I hope these discussions are giving you some things to think about @Junebug!

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes, thank you @whiteraven , & @SheilaKathy . :hug:

 

[arabianhorselover]

I was born and raised in a Lutheran church, and still attend one regularly to this day. I have had my struggles with faith over the years, but I can't imagine not believing in God or going to church. I feel good and safe in church. The church I have been attending for the past 18 years is very small, and we are kind of like a family. We really care about each other. Since we have so few members, we each end up getting involved more than we might in a large congregation.

 

[Tinyflame]

I find small churches kind of un-nerving, and think I prefer to be invisible. But:

we are kind of like a family. We really care about each other.

that is nice.

I think it's important that we listen to our heart(s), as to what we believe, feel, what comes to mind, and even more so what is personally 'felt' (thought/ directed- Idk the word, eiy :confused:?), for each of one of us, personally/ uniquely.

 

[Supervixn]

JOEL A. BROOKS, JR. PODCAST | Free Podcasts | PodOmatic

This is a podcast of the Christian church that turned my life around. I've moved out of the state but am so happy to be able to still listen to my pastor. I listen to him at work also. He's hilarious, it's hard NOT to enjoy listening to him. If you like that, google Stones Church Kalamazoo MI and you'll find their website. Under watch/listen, there are streamed services where you can watch the services also. They have recorded services available to watch and they even live stream Sunday services!

I haven't found a new church yet in my new state but I miss my old church very very much. Although I loved listening to the services, tbh it was hard for me to actually go to church... just because they encouraged so much interaction with other members and I'm extremely reserved... it was good to push myself to do it but it was uncomfortable for me given my personality and my own issues. Not to discourage. Just be aware that if you attend services you may be expected to walk around shaking hands and repeating things to people. I've had a lot of awkward church moments and a lot of funny ones as well lol.

You've already got the right mindset in wanting to develop and explore faith. You're in a wonderful position to want to seek the Lord! I'm really excited for you!!

Some other Christians I listen to on YouTube:

-Ravi Zacharias (wow he talks a lot but has interesting stories to tell; very wise man)

-John K. Jenkins (hilarious... baptist preacher)

-Joel Brooks (Kalamazoo Stones Church/Christian Life Center)

-J.S. Park (he has short videos on YouTube which answer a lot of common questions about God, the Bible, and the Christian faith)

-Sandles Church (out of California)

-Anneshia Freeman (guest speaker at Stones Church... former drug addict and prostitute from Detroit; wonderful testimony to the power of God!)

-Sid Roth's It's Supernatural (this show gets kind of out there but the near death experiences are lovely, very interesting)

There is so much on YouTube to explore. I favor Christianity. I'd reccommend The Student Bible for the understandable translated text. Be wary of proclaimed "Christian pastors" who preach hatred or anything that seems un-Godly. God wants us to love each other and forgive each other. God never directs us to hate homosexuals or people of differing viewpoints. I've come across some really skewed teachings and had enough sense to feel that God was not behind their words and attitudes.

Good luck and enjoy!! I really hope you give us an update on your spiritual journey :)

 

[Gs172003]

I don't know about anybody else but as far as online..I really like Pastor Rick who wrote the purpose driven Life

Saddleback Church: Love Like The King: Loving The People You Might Overlook

 

[Changing4Best]

I read that book, twice actually. I have seen videos of him too. He is a really awesome guy.

 

[Gs172003]

I read that book, twice actually. I have seen videos of him too. He is a really awesome guy.[/QUOTE...

His son committed suicide a year or two ago. He now has a mental health ministry that helps people all over the world. Some might know it as celebrate recovery.

 

[Changing4Best]

I was in Celebrate Recovery from 2005-2010 and enjoyed it a lot. I moved and there was no place where it was happening here, so I lost out on a good thing. I miss it! It really was helpful.

 

[Gs172003]

He and his wife have several ministries. They do a ton of good.

 

[Gs172003]

Saddleback Church - List and Locations of Ministries

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @Supervixn , @Zoogal & @SheilaKathy :hug::hug::hug:.

I don't know about any of the above but I will check.

I did recall that Pastor Rick/ Purpose Driven Life had gone through some tragedy himself. :(

it was hard for me to actually go to church... just because they encouraged so much interaction with other members and I'm extremely reserved... it was good to push myself to do it but it was uncomfortable for me given my personality and my own issues.

Yes, that's kind of me. ^^

You've already got the right mindset in wanting to develop and explore faith

Wow, I feel kind of embarrassed ^^. I was just looking how to cope, get through the day(s), and I kind of feel it's just been/ is a relationship, one from which I find a source of strength/ coping/ courage. But put that way, when I think about it, it's kind of (very) egotistical of me to not include I should be learning.

God never directs us to hate homosexuals or people of differing viewpoints

^^ Totally agree. I think that's nuts. A travesty. :(

I've come across some really skewed teachings and had enough sense to feel that God was not behind their words and attitudes.

^^ Absolutely agree. However, one thing no one is going to tell me to do is hate or be biased and justify it under God or any other name as a 'good' or 'right' or a loving thing. :wtf:

Thank you all. :hug:

Ps, I suppose the strange thing is, maybe about 30 years ago I was more open to opinions/ books, even contemplative ones. However, now I need, or can only understand, 'small bites' of 'main courses'- somewhere starting with contemplation I've come full round to more simple/ childlike- the KISS method, I guess? Although I come across things like T. Merton and such and they hit home, though I've read him before but now appreciate more his application of the adage ~if there is a simple way to say something choose it.

Because it's just my guess, but I feel in my heart as 'we' (people) get closer to being able to understand-> it = being able to feel -> would equate to some small true grasping of how much God loves us. Period. Not 'period' as in that's-where-it-ends-or-all-it's-about, it involves then how will we treat/ help/ care for others/ choose to live in relationship (with the whole world,and the Earth itself too) of course, but kind of the core of the personal part where we live, be, are, and have our being. Our being and our essence. But also, what we 'feel' in our core. Ugh, don't have the words. Maybe closer to 'becoming' a wee bit of love (as much as possible), rather than just being loving without our heart(s) really in it.

I believe kids get it better, too.

:hug: