Can Ptsd Hurt Your Chances In Court For Protecting Yourself And Kids (i.e. Gaining Custody)

[scout86]

and thank you for the little put down there

I don't see a put down there, I see a statement of fact. It is true that some people, including professionals I suppose, use the term cPTSD, but it's not in the DSM at the moment so it's not, technically, recognized as a diagnosis. Using terminology that is not technically correct might well undermine your credibility in court. Might not too, but why take a chance?

Beyond that, another vote for finding an excellent lawyer and cooperating with her or him. Best of all possible worlds, this is about what's best for the kids and establishing that. Having PTSD might, sometimes, affect a person's ability to parent. On the other hand, being cruel, abusive, and potentially dangerous certainly makes a person not likely to be a decent parent. It's all about who makes the case that's the most believable to the judge though.

 

[joeylittle]

If C-PTSD is not an accepted diagnosis then it would not be a diagnosis so there is that. It is still the same as PTSD just with the "C" standing for "complex" due to multiple stressors.

I'm just telling you things that will be relevant to legal proceedings. You're asking about telling the courts about your c-PTSD, I'm only telling you that you'll have difficulty with this because cPTSD isn't a recognized diagnosis. If you received that information from a doctor, you can look at the billing codes on your health insurance info and work back to find out what they technically diagnosed you as having. It's probably straight PTSD. If you haven't been to a doctor for a diagnosis, you would need to do so before you brought it to bear in a custody hearing, I believe.

As for "IF" it gave any help at all was to show the emotional distress it has caused and that if I got PTSD from being with her just what would happen if the kids remained with her especially with how young they are.

I would still say, no - because it will not matter. As has been said above, they are going to be more concerned with the kids; anything that speaks to impact on you is only going to possibly work against you.

If she has failed to show up to court and told them she doesn't intend to listen, and kidnapped the kids, I think she's sort of dug her own grave. As far as I know, that's a sure-fire way for her to lose any custody battle.

That sounds right. It sounds like all you need to do, OP, is get a very good lawyer and let them do their job.

and thank you for the little put down there seeing as how I already said I was the one taking care of them in the first place.

It was not a put down at all; it was an honest question. If you look at what I wrote, you'll see that. You need to consider what kind of treatment you need and how you can get on the best foot possible, that's all. From what I read, you had been taking care of them, your ex then ran off with them, you are concerned for their overall welfare and want to become the custodial parent legally. That's got nothing to do with whether you've ever taken care of them - it has to do with how you are taking care of yourself right now, and making sure that you still can care for them. So, it sounds like the answer is, 'yes'.

These are all questions that will come up. I'm only one voice in this thread, and it's the best information and advice I've got. It doesn't mean you have to listen to me. I am not trying to tear you down. My opinion is that bringing the PTSD up will only work against you. My advice is that you hire a lawyer and meanwhile, work as hard as you can on your own treatment - because if she gets a good lawyer, your health might become relevant to the proceedings.

I really am sorry for what you are going through.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

If C-PTSD is not an accepted diagnosis then it would not be a diagnosis so there is that.

It isn't. Its not in the DSM,

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) is the standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health professionals in the United States.

DSM Home

Thus, cant be on medical or mental health records. By each is a code, that code goes on your records and sent to the insurence company. No code, not on the mental health record. Period. There is no aruguing that point.

It is still the same as PTSD just with the "C" standing for "complex" due to multiple stressors.

No, its complex due to the legnth of time.

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a condition that results from chronic or long-term exposure to emotional trauma over which a victim has little or no control and from which there is little or no hope of escape

Link Removed

As for "IF" it gave any help at all was to show the emotional distress it has caused and that if I got PTSD from being with her just what would happen if the kids remained with her especially with how young they are.

I also say, no it wont help, but I am not a laywer and Id most certianly get one if you want to keep your kids. Trying to prove her being abusive is first, hard, second, something the court will advise is very a very serious aligation and will be looking to you to prove it with the idea that the court normally wants to keep kids with their mother unless 100% proven that mother isnt fit, and third, should be said and proven by a laywer whom knows what they are doing inside of the laws.

I wouldnt even attempt it without a laywer as it could and likely will backfire and cause you to loose your kids.

And would I advise a court I had a mental disorder, personally? Absoultly not! I would see that backfire very quickly.

Get a laywer!

 

[EveHarrington]

Stick to the facts----don't mention your diagnosis. Tell the courts about your wife's actions. Disclosing the PTSD will make you appear mentally ill to the courts and can make you look less like the best parent. Its all about making her look bad, not you.

 

[Lionheart]

I would think that actively seeking treatment for PTSD would enhance your chances in case your wife brings it up, but this is only my experience and I would not want to hurt your chances, so please carefully consider everyone's suggestions!!!

 

[Freedomfighter]

I recently found out that I have C-PTSD due to an abusive wife (loss of kids etc. very long story o...

Did you get diagnosed by a physician for PTSD? Because that can actually be bad for people, it can lead to being stigmatized from the courts, schools, jobs....

When I found out I had PTSD I also found out that my abilities as a parent suffered. That was very tough to deal with....

 

[Femke]

I am sorry for what you are going through. It must be hard!

I think it can go both ways and is dependent on your situation and the rest of the evidence you've got. I agree with the others you should definitely hire a - good! - lawyer and ask him or her this question. I personally feel a PTSD diagnosis could worsen your position, in your case, but I'm not sure.

For me personally, informing the court about my PTSD and later even stress related psychosis was not only necessary (i was visibly in complete terror of my ex during the court hearings and eventually had to stay in a ward) but helped my case tremendously and was the primary reason I could protect my son. My situation was different however and it was still a big gamble. I was very lucky, with a judge that believed me and ruled in my favour.

Some of the precautions I took and things that helped:
- My starting point was different. My ex never lived with us. I took care of my son alone, he was not legally his father yet and had no custody or visitation rights yet to start with. So my situation might not apply to you.
- I collected several testimonies (father, friend, boss, collegue, various professionals) that stated in an objective and neutral way I had always been healthy and well-functioning in every area of life before meeting my ex and they saw that my problems were solely and surely caused by the relationship with my ex. The professionals also stated that we had a good social network around us and I had all means to recover and be a good mother to my son, as long as a safe situation was provided. IF you use the PTSD diagnosis, I'd most definitely recommend you collect testimonies like that! They were essential to my case!
- I had a child psychologist and a normal psychologist observe me, observe my son and observe us together regularly. They testified that my son did well and I was a good mother to him regularly. In your case this is not possible, but you might be able to get testimonies and proof of you being a good dad?
- In the beginning of the process I had hardly any evidence of abuse or problems on his side. I searched everything I had however to come up with proof of why I was scared of him. An old e-mail in which he was treatening with a firearm. Another e-mail which pointed to a lack of empathy. A testimony of my psychiatrist stating that he believed my story and he thought of psychopathy in my ex. It wasn't enough to prove abuse or a psychiatric problem in him. It WAS enough to make the judge start to believe my story and order more research. She used my "proofs" in her argumentation. I'd recommend you collect anything you can use to factually proof abuse (preferable) or make your story about abuse believable (if you have little factual proof). Present it in such a way that you come across as genuinely afraid for your children's safety, not being angry or resentful with your ex or throwing bad things at her. This was rather obvious in my case, because I was so terrified I collapsed, but.. it's important.
- In the end of the process there had been psychological testing, which couldn't prove everything, but it did confirm he had a lack of empathy and emotions and he had made serious threats.
- I'd recommend you secretly make audio tapes of all the formal conversations you have with CPS etcetera. This might sound paranoid, but someone recommended this to me. I found it super weird at first so I didn't. But in retrospect I wish I did. I had CPS say the weirdest things to me and I had a psychologist state my ex could be a severe threat to my child and do extreme things... only to withdraw that statement after a talk with CPS ("i don't know what I'm allowed to report"). I have beaten myself up extremely over not recording that conversation.

In the end I won and my child was safe: my ex could not become the legal father and could not get visitation. The main reason was that it was proven that something was wrong with him and he didn't acknowlegde that problem and seek help PLUS this caused severe PTSD in me and disturbed the home situation of my child. Without the PTSD they would probably have pushed visitation through.

Just wanted to share my story... it's a totally different situation, but it's an example of PTSD helping the case and precautions I took to prevent them from saying "you're a bad mum". So you might get benefit from it.

 

[Femke]

Oh BTW-

In family court (in my country) they don't care about partner abuse at all. Nobody makes a connection between abuse of the other parent and abuse of the child. They strangely completely disconnect that. Even a father that killed the mother of the child, had a right to visitation. They don't think abuse of the partner leading to PTSD, means the child has a heigthened risk of being abused and developping PTSD too.

The only reason the PTSD diagnosis helped in my case is because shared custody/co-parenting/visitation would make ME so afraid that it would ruin the existing situation for my child. I had psychologist&psychiatrist explicitly stating that the situation for my child would be extremely good without the ex and extremely bad with the ex, which made them afraid to push through.

Which is an extremely risky card to play, because it can easily backfire. Both my ex and CPS ("she's so fearful she overreacts and her story is not true") tried to achieve that.

I didn't have any other choice, but I'd be very careful with it.

 

[Nessa7]

It might be a good idea to contact local services for victims of domestic violence. Some will help you contact resources that can help in your divorce proceedings.