Cannot Hold A Job?

[Lela]

Hi I am 20 years old. I was diagnosed with PTSD at the age of 15. I was sexually abused for 8 years by a family member. I went to college for a year and couldn't even keep my grades up. I love school. I've only been able to work part time. Even then it's very hard. I have extreme anxiety and paranoia. I have very bad social anxiety and lots of triggers. I feel temedously guilty about needing help. But I finally got myself to make an account here and get advice. I live with my partner and if it weren't for him idk where I'd be. What do I do? I don't want us to struggle because I can't hold a full time job due to my PTSD.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Hi, Lela!
First, I would like to welcome you to the Forum! You are safe and accepted here!

I am SO SORRY about your 8 years of abuse and what is the result of that abuse! You should NOT have been put through ANY of it!!!

I lost my job and career when I had what I call a 2 year "nervous breakdown" that happened after my daughter died. It's a long story, and the details aren't important right now, but I know how it feels to not be able to keep a job. I tried a few times after I "broke" but wasn't successful.

My suggestion would be, to think about something that you LOVE...like animals or gardening, or children, reading, art, or the elderly... and maybe find a way to volunteer for a few hours a week?

Sometimes being a volunteer can lead to a job, plus it wouldn't have the stress and pressure of being an employee. It might help with your confidence level, and get you used to being out and about in the world.

This might not help at all, but I do care, and hope that you will be able to slowly work your way into a job. Maybe slowly, but it would be a start.

Blessings to you!
AKJ

 

[Elizabeth Brico]

I understand what you're going through. My abuser recently re-entered my life and it aggravated my symptoms so badly that I had to leave my job, and haven't been able to work since. Last month I launched a blog about living with PTSD and it has helped a lot. I've been exorcising some of the demons of my past, learning about myself and PTSD, connecting with other survivors and helping give voice to their feelings too (which feels great) and yesterday I signed up for an affiliate program to hopefully bring in some kind of money so it's not all on my husband. I have no idea how much if any money I'll make but the other benefits are definitely real. I've had ptsd for nine years and this is the first time I'm starting to feel sort of okay. Blogging may not be for you per se, but I definitely recommend considering some kind of artistic expression. And you may even be able to make money off of it. An affiliate program if it's a blog, etsy if it's crafts, for visual art you can sell to coffee shops or online? I don't know, I just know it's helping me and it's the first thing ever which has :)

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Hi, I'm so sorry about what you're going through! I went through the same kind of abuse for about 4 years, and then go re-traumatized later, and I fully get the work issues. I wish I can help with the emotional stuff, but I know that for the most part you have to go through that on your own. People before me gave nice advice too. That's the good thing with topics on here, you can get very varied and often even practical advice, and you can take out of the suggestions everything that may work for you.
Here are my tips, as someone who has been trying to deal with very similar situation for 4-6 years:

While it's lovely that you can rely on your partner, make sure you are support to him too, and you show him you appreciate it and have moments together. You don't want for him to become your only support, because all you are going through will affect him as well, as he cares about you.

For work, do you have periods where you work great and others in which you don't at all, or is it that you are able to work consistently, but not for many hours?

Like, if you have times when you work great for a while(few weeks, months?) always make sure that you save something and set it aside. The general rule for "rainy days" goes even more for people like us, because you kind of know you are more likely to have days when you might not be able to work. A cushion of savings can help you go through these periods without worrying about the money aspect.

As for day to day work, you need to spend some time and figure out your options. You could take part time job. Another option as mentioned is try to make money out of something you love, and hopefully is easier to do when you feel awful. What skills or hobbies do you have? What can you do even at your worst? Draw? Take pictures? Can you be a blogger?

Few jobs without exact work time are things like blogging(but it takes some months to get it off the ground, in my experience). Another could be not directly selling a physical product, but some version of it digitally, as that can bring some income even if you have to take break sometimes(selling digital clip art, digital art, print on demand etc.), digital books and so on. Anything that is in a way "passive" income that can still function without you for some time when you are having a bad day(or few). Another job that can be done that way is doing client-based projects freelancing, because then you commit to only clients themselves. Meaning, you can only take on 1 client for 5 hours/week at times if that's all you can do, and work from home if you need to. You can do anything with clients, especially online, music, art, illustration, graphic design, accounting, social media management, transcription, translation, are just few things that come to mind.

Just have your health in first place, know your limitations and figure out what you can do. You can figure this out!

 

[zoein208]

I am so sorry to hear about your abuse. I am looking for a way to work from home... disability is so hard to get these days. I have attempted disability 2 times and then I get a letter that says I have been denied even though no records were even asked for... long story.

Have you tried for reimbursement from restitution or any of those channels? I am in that phase now myself as I too could NOT keep my brain together enough to stay in school. I went from a 40 to a 2.8. I had an episode the person that is in custody came up for parole and I had to enter a statement to keep him in custody. I got death threats and all the drama that comes with it. This flared up old unresolved issues of anxiety, PTSD and major depressive disorder. I am on meds and go to CBT, however, I am still unable to get back out there and work in public.

Good luck to you, know that there are others like yourself out there.

Kind regards,
Zoe

 

[J'qel]

I'm in the same situation. The plan was thaht my s/o would support me, and then I would finish my degree and support him. It didn't work out that way. In fact my life now is *NOTHING* like I expected at 20.

That being said, I'm mostly content with it.

My husband supports me, but I'm not high maintenance, in fact, staying home not doing anything particularly spectacular is my preferred state.

It's hard to work around your illness, but that choice isn't always given to us.

Take your time, be patient, talk to your spouse about it. I was really very concerned and it caused innummerable issues until I did talk to him and he flatly told me he preferred our living arrangements were as they are to the alternative. It took a huge load of stress off.

Now I'm slowly working on things bit by bit, and while there were some sacrifices-they have been worth it.

Take your time, relax, try to recenter yourself. It's not something you can control, it's not your fault, and like any illness you have to take care of yourself while you heal.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Little steps, it might help you to find a part time job in which you can increase hours after getting used to that challenge.

 

[Friday]

I don't want us to struggle because I can't hold a full time job due to my PTSD.

Okay. So what can you do about that?

In the long term, sure, treating your PTSD & getting your symptoms down to a place where you can work full time (or part time) bringing in good money is a great goal. The awesome thing about great goals, is that they have a whole lot of steps that make them up, a whole lot of different paths to them, and provide a whole lot of purpose & sense of direction. This is what I'm working towards. The downside is that they take time. Each of the steps also takes time. The space between wanting and having? Is usually pretty distant. Consider long term goals much like marathons or being a doctor. If I want to run a marathon or practice medicine? I'm not just going to be able to go out and do it. I'm going to have to spend a lot of time working my way towards being able to do it.

((Which is another awesome thing; Knowing the inherant downsides. As an example, when dealing with goals, beating yourself up for not being there, yet? Is silly. Do most of us still do that? Yup. But it makes about as much sense as a college freshmen deciding to be a doctor, and then the next day bawling and hating themselves because they aren't a doctor, yet! Well. Of course not. 8 more years of school are needed!))

Alright. So if the long term goal is to
1) Get your PTSD managed so you can
2) Work so you can
3) Bring in good money
Each of those 3 piece will have paths to them.

Then what can you do NOW ?

1) Start working on your long term goals
2) Set some short term goals to help with the immediate problem

Short term goals might include things like attitude (because poor & miserable don't have to go hand in hand; struggling financially doesn't mean that you also have to struggle with happiness), bringing in some kind of money, saving money (less talking about piggy banks, and more talking about finding things that save money by not spending it in the first place, like going to the beach & watching a movie projected on a sheet is free while going to the movie theatre is expensive, or buying a whole turkey and cooking it is 50 cents per pound, while buying turkey sandwich meat from the deli is $11 per pound). Et cetera. All kind of things you might brainstorm to help with the immediate problem, while you work on the long term solutions.

 

[EmmaMae]

You have something good going for you in that you are 20 and dealing with this. Your outlook for a good life is great. I was 16 when I was sexually assaulted, resulting in PTSD with relationship, sexual and social anxiety issues. I tried to forget it happened and move on with my life as if nothing happened. I didn't get help until I was 40 and decided to find out why I could only hold a job 3-6 months. I discovered it was due to not being able to connect with others. So much of my life was wasted in many ways. With good counseling and a supportive husband and a friend, I was able to finally return to school and get a two-year degree. I also pursued certain friendships and tried to learn good social skills. It is always a struggle, but learning to take good care of myself really helped. Hang in there. You can improve with good counseling and taking it slow and easy. One step at a time.

 

[physicist13]

I don't know any immediate solutions, but I have found that when I absolutely HAVE to do something I can always do it. Working full time may seem impossible, but once you are completely alone in the world and working a certain amount of hours is the only thing keeping you from becoming homeless (a situation that seems very hard to get out of from my perspective) you may find a way to work. I'm not saying you will be happy or at a high level of functioning outside of work, but dire situations like this are what keep me at the minimum acceptable level of functioning.

 

[Tee92]

Hi,

My name's Tee and I am 25 years old. I have been struggling to keep a job for longer than a year since I was 19. This was when I started therapy around the abuse I suffered from my father. My bouts of depression and anxiety has made me inconsistent and unreliable, which is so different to my character. Prior to PTSD I was reliable, trustworthy and consistent. I'm still currently struggling to keep jobs, but I am getting better. I don't have answers for you, just someone who understands. Sometimes its just nice to hear someone else saying "same".

Wishing you all the best.

 

[thohen24]

I understand.

I've gone through 12 jobs myself and each time, I'm looking for a place to hide where I can be alone, control my breathing, call my fiancé.

I've also been dealing with bad self-esteem issues for I have no idea how long. Attempted suicide more than once at different jobs. It's tough. My biggest hurdle is being able to actually say "I deserve good things".

I got it in my head to see if anyone else with PTSD was having a hard time finding and holding onto a job. So happy I'm not alone.