DustinGrun
New Here
I might as well start from the beginning. I'm running out of options so I'm trying something new.
It was a warm day in September 2013 on a Friday and it was a half day at our high school. We got out of school at 12:30 and I got on the bus and went home. At about 1:30 me, my mamaw, sister, and mom went out to town to get something to eat then go shopping. It looked like it was going to be a good day. We never made it to town. We stopped at a store before going to eat.
About 3PM we got into a car wreck going 60MPH (speed limit). We were only in the car for 2 minutes or less. A woman was crossing an intersection and she stopped all of a sudden. We were driving down a 2 lane highway and we couldn't switch fast enough. It happened in a blur. We only saw the car for a second before T-Boning her. My mamaw was driving and she couldn't even hit the breaks, she was shocked. I looked up from my phone and we were heading straight for this car and I couldn't even scream.
The wreck itself was a blur but I remember everything after waking up from a concussion. The smells, ambulance, the reactions, the blood. Everything. I remember everything about that day but I have memory problems when it comes to modern stuff. I am only 14 and this is very dramatic and ruining my life. I had "minor" injuries. A seat-belt burn, my neck hurts.
I knew that second of the wreck I messed up my shoulder big time, it stills hurts to this day. I am a very good basketball player, my freshman team needed me last season, but I decided to opt out of last season to prevent any more injuries. I went to 3 chiropractor appointments in October before insurance stopped paying.
That was before the mental problems started happening. I have my good days but not really anymore. It mentally hit me about a month or two after. I started to go a little crazy. I couldn't concentrate anymore, my grades started slipping. I could care less right now. I use to love car rides but I can't ride in peace anymore and if a place is in walking distance, I will walk. I'm very jumpy in cars. Since day 1, I have been having flashbacks/ nightmares in the middle of the night. I feel like I'm there. Sometimes, I have random flashbacks and I start to cry a little bit.
The fact that my dad doesn't even care or that I never see him doesn't help any. My friends just doesn't understand how much it effects me. I need someone that understands me but I didn't know how bad PTSD was until I got it. I haven't smiled once this week, people ask what's wrong but all I can do is nod my head. I can't get happy no matter how hard I try to get happy. Music seems to calm me down at times. I'm surrounded by so much negativity.. I had my anger bottled up inside for 2 years, I kept my cool all the time. After the wreck I've been a very mad person. I yell, throw things, punch walls. I am very mature for my age but I can't keep everything under control anymore. Insomnia is killing me, I cant sleep at night I go to bed at 4 wake up at 6. I run on 2-4 hours of sleep everyday.
Should I get help? I saw a therapist before the wreck and I think it helped me. I know things will never be the same but I just want to be my old self and I really miss playing sports and being happy all the time.
It was a warm day in September 2013 on a Friday and it was a half day at our high school. We got out of school at 12:30 and I got on the bus and went home. At about 1:30 me, my mamaw, sister, and mom went out to town to get something to eat then go shopping. It looked like it was going to be a good day. We never made it to town. We stopped at a store before going to eat.
About 3PM we got into a car wreck going 60MPH (speed limit). We were only in the car for 2 minutes or less. A woman was crossing an intersection and she stopped all of a sudden. We were driving down a 2 lane highway and we couldn't switch fast enough. It happened in a blur. We only saw the car for a second before T-Boning her. My mamaw was driving and she couldn't even hit the breaks, she was shocked. I looked up from my phone and we were heading straight for this car and I couldn't even scream.
The wreck itself was a blur but I remember everything after waking up from a concussion. The smells, ambulance, the reactions, the blood. Everything. I remember everything about that day but I have memory problems when it comes to modern stuff. I am only 14 and this is very dramatic and ruining my life. I had "minor" injuries. A seat-belt burn, my neck hurts.
I knew that second of the wreck I messed up my shoulder big time, it stills hurts to this day. I am a very good basketball player, my freshman team needed me last season, but I decided to opt out of last season to prevent any more injuries. I went to 3 chiropractor appointments in October before insurance stopped paying.
That was before the mental problems started happening. I have my good days but not really anymore. It mentally hit me about a month or two after. I started to go a little crazy. I couldn't concentrate anymore, my grades started slipping. I could care less right now. I use to love car rides but I can't ride in peace anymore and if a place is in walking distance, I will walk. I'm very jumpy in cars. Since day 1, I have been having flashbacks/ nightmares in the middle of the night. I feel like I'm there. Sometimes, I have random flashbacks and I start to cry a little bit.
The fact that my dad doesn't even care or that I never see him doesn't help any. My friends just doesn't understand how much it effects me. I need someone that understands me but I didn't know how bad PTSD was until I got it. I haven't smiled once this week, people ask what's wrong but all I can do is nod my head. I can't get happy no matter how hard I try to get happy. Music seems to calm me down at times. I'm surrounded by so much negativity.. I had my anger bottled up inside for 2 years, I kept my cool all the time. After the wreck I've been a very mad person. I yell, throw things, punch walls. I am very mature for my age but I can't keep everything under control anymore. Insomnia is killing me, I cant sleep at night I go to bed at 4 wake up at 6. I run on 2-4 hours of sleep everyday.
Should I get help? I saw a therapist before the wreck and I think it helped me. I know things will never be the same but I just want to be my old self and I really miss playing sports and being happy all the time.
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