Can't Sleep Next To Him

[Zeconew]

I've been seeing a guy for about a month. We talk on the phone for hours at a time. Fantastic connection. Scarily so.

He was in the navy for 13 years before he had to be medically discharged. (Explosion)

I've been with PTSD sufferers before. But he told me the other day that he doesn't share a bed. EVER. He hasn't shared a bed in over a decade because of nightmares and flashbacks and he doesn't want to hurt the person sleeping next to him.

This breaks my heart. In so many ways. I understand completely, but I feel disappointed. If we get together, I'll never be held while I sleep. It seems petty, but as a PTSD sufferer myself, I reallllly like the security of sharing a bed. Sigh.

 

[Mogom]

You are totally justified in feeling this way. To be held whilst sleeping is so natural.

I send you a big :hug: from the UK if you accept it.

Mr Laurie

 

[Ili]

If his nightmares are severe and he thrashes, hits, kicks, yells out, etc., it's not going to be be that relaxing sleeping in each other's arms scenerio.

It's not going to make you feel more secure, especially if you have PTSD and an amped up startle response, etc.

Trust me, I've been woken up out of a sound sleep by being scared shitless by my vet several times. I've been hit and kicked. I've been held down, pushed out of bed, and woke up with him on top of me covering me from incoming fire.

If I wake up before it gets to that point, I can usually make a noise or something to wake him up. The problem is when I'm deep asleep and it happens when I don't know it's coming.

 

[Made]

As a vwt myself i totally understand your comments. Any Vet really should know how to control these rages. It took me over 20 years to learn the techniques to control my rage.

Unfortunately it is way too late for me. He needs to learn self control. And be a man.

 

[Uzac]

I don't think there are surefire ways to control these nocturnal actions during sleep. None of my docs have suggested anything other than reducing stress and engaging in self care.

 

[Nezewu]

It's not a rage, it's a night terror. Nothing controls them... I'm the poster who was talking about getting hit and kicked by my vet earlier btw.

He's been in treatment for years, and has taken a few different meds specifically for the night terrors. Nothing gets rid of them.

 

[Zeconew]

It's not something you can man up and control.

I understand why he sleeps alone. Im just mourning sleeping with someone.

 

[Azatif]

He has things he needs to work on in therapy that are unresolved. If he does, night terrors go away.

 

[Ucabin]

If only it were that easy to get rid of night terrors... years of therapy may not completely get rid of them. Anytime the stress cup is full they come back.