Carer & Sufferer & Confused

[LOLA BELL]

Things happen for a reason, right?

My boyfriend of almost 5 years finally gets a "no-surprise-here" PTSD diagnosis while involved in the final stages of determining the amount of monetary damages he is entitled to due to residential school abuse when he was a teen.

But turns out that the big surprise is that in researching PTSD (thinking that more knowledge could maybe lead to a less rocky relationship) I discover that I have displayed all of the symptoms myself. I had been through re-hab and tried several rounds of counselling/therapy that I would say only touched on my sexual abuse history and although I would not say I am "high functioning" , I really thought I was doing ok. I really thought that HE had all the issues and problems and I just had to learn how I was going to be the amazing girlfriend who stays with him and helps him heal.

What kind of relationship can two PTSD people have? So confused as to what my next move is that I am now literally stuck.

<Edited by cherryblossom. Please capitalise the word 'I', and break your writing into short paragraphs, for easy reading.>

 

[Sandra]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Eleanor]

Welcome Lola Bell,

I have no answer to your question - but it seems to me you've found the right spot to put together some answers! Read around - there is a lot of great information and lots of experience here...

 

[john1963]

They say 2 horses can pull 5 times there wieght, but working in a team they can pull 20 times that.

May be just may be the two of you can grow and learn together.

I found talking about not just the trauma event, but how it efffected me, based on my actions and behaviours.

Love your self first, and then love him next.

The meassage here is to look after your self first

 

[Lucille]

Hi Lola, I remember the way I felt after I was diagnosed. Very much a "whew it all makes sense" but also just a sense of hopelessness. Feel comforted that you now can start to realize the reasons behind what you have been feeling inside. You also need to be kind to yourself and not wear yourself out.

You and your boyfriend can clearly relate to each other in a way that most of us cannot relate to our significant others. I bet that will be a powerful relationship builder to help you get through the rough times.

Hugs for you! I wish you peace