Catcalls

[St.Maybe]

Even my best friend calls out to women while he drives. He has a line he always says, and sure, it could classify both as polite and as funny but IT DRIVES ME INSANE.

How often do you guys experience catcalling? How does it make you feel? Does the nature of the words communicated make a difference?

I try to be nice, but my skin crawls and I sometimes panic when men approach me in public.

 

[Enaila]

I would never consider a man calling out at me from a car polite. I would find it humiliating and demeaning whatever the words were. I know such things frighten people and are meant to intimidate. Driving past people on the street is not the time nor place to harass strangers. Around where I work, it could also escalate into violence quickly from gangs. Why would you consider it funny?

 

[St.Maybe]

I would never consider a man calling out at me from a car polite...Why would you consider it funny?

I'm not saying that his calling from his car was either polite or funny. Rather, the string of words themselves (his little go-to catch phrase thing), out of context, are both funny and polite. I think the context of hollering it to a stranger, though, makes it quite alarming. I had trouble getting this across to him. He doesn't quite grasp how his behavior, even if he means no harm, could translate as dangerous or frightening.

I grew up in an area with a lot of gang violence, but this isn't really the kind of behavior I've ever seen escalate into a gun fight... I think perhaps because women are routinely subjected to catcalling there, and (maybe this isn't really reflective of the whole city but in my experience) women are less likely to open fire outside. What's it like, where you work?

 

[Enaila]

I'm not saying that his calling from his car was either polite or funny. Rather, the string of...

I'm not saying the women would be the ones getting shot . I work at an inner city high school. A couple neighbouring schools sometimes cause an escalation in violence. If a catcall was made toward a young lady on the street and she mentioned it to her boyfriend or husband, problems might ensue. I have seen it happen over something like just a cat call. We had a mother and daughter, who had to walk to school through the neighborhood have 4 young men in a car cat call at them. They made it safely, but the young men did find another victim.

 

[St.Maybe]

If a catcall was made toward a young lady on the street and she mentioned it to her boyfriend or husband, problems might ensue. I have seen it happen over something like just a cat call.

I feel like that's an important note to make about catcall culture- it happens when women aren't (or don't appear to be) with a man... no one ever calls out to me when I'm with a guy. They may stare creepily, but they never call out.

Honestly the thought of being shouted and honked at is one of the things that, on a bad day, causes me too much anxiety to even leave the house. In the small town where I currently live, it's still just as much of a problem. I know that in my hometown the men in my family would indeed defend me if a man got physical with me on the street whether I was alone when it happened or not... I feel like catcalls would be a different story though.

 

[Enaila]

I had to go on a field trip to a men's state penitentiary during college for my class on Emotional Disturbances. I was a young lady of 20 or so at the time. Our instructor warned the few of us, who were females, about the catcalling we would hear on our way to meet with death row inmates. Now when I hear cat calling, I think of that trip and how ignorant and desperate those men sounded.

 

[Sideways]

I don't tend to be out and about much on the street these days, but I used to find it a little funny. Coz, yeah, they might think the package looks okay on the outside, but if only they knew:eek:

 

[Recovery4Me]

I have lived my entire life listening to punks from cars. To this day (and I am a senior), I cringe as the cat calls come from behind me as I am walking. Normally, I slow my gait enough to give them the lazer eyed, scolding grandmother look- over the top of my glasses. However, as sometimes rape and cat calls arrive together...I also look for public places to run for protection.

So if someone perceives, cat calls as a harmless form of flattery...please note...I am still being sexually harassed because of my gender. Let's be real...

 

[Neverthesame]

I think it's disgusting. Not to mention rude. Also dangerous when shouted from a moving vehicle.

I don't know really what the appeal is. Or what one expects from it.

If the little boy (that's what they act like) is so wimpy he has to shout at random women in order to be noticed. It doesn't matter what the actual words used are. All I hear is...

"MY DICK IS TINY! SO MUCH SO, THAT EVERY WOMAN I HAVE EVER PUT IT IN HAD TO ASK IF IT WAS IN YET! IT WAS THE BEST 10 SECONDS SHE NEVER NOTICED!"

I'm a guy, by the way. :D

Edit: Spelled woman wrong... :facepalm:

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Neverthesame Whew! :hug: Thanks for the heads up on your gender. I almost had a cow for all the poor guys reading it!:p

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I'm actually really curious how often other women get cat-called. It doesn't happen to me every day, but it often will happen as much as four or five times in the same day. AND, for the record, I dress stylish, but definitely modest. I haven't worn a pair of shorts or a skirt in at least a couple years ....

I've always felt like I get cat-called more than most. But is this true?

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I find it offensive. I'm all for expressing appreciation under the right circumstances, but cat-calling truly objectifies women. I I can't imagine being that aggressive with a stranger.

I'm middle-aged now, but I remember flipping off some guy who cat-called me from a vehicle. He drove away, but went around the block and started yelling threats at me from his car. Scared the shit out of me. Luckily, before he made it around the block again (if he even bothered), I was well out of sight.

One-to-one, I really like men. As a group, though, their misogyny disappoints and disgusts me.