Ok... I've had a bit of time to think on all this.
I won.
I was granted a two year RO
I was triggered all to hell even with medicine in me.
He shot himself in the foot. Had a month to prepare but never got a lawyer. Whined but decided to represent himself since I wouldn't agree to giving him more time. He was given a chance to speak and respond to my statement. He kept going off on tangents and the judge had to reign him back.
That part was excruciating. He made me sound like a really crazy and vindictive person. He said terrible ugly things about me and my kids.
Then if was my turn again: I called my therapist up to give his statement.
The judge asked him a few questions as to how long he had been seeing me and what the dx was and what it was from.
HE got to cross examine my therapist. And he kept trying to turn things on their edge and say that my issues were either because I was crazy or because of things that happened when I was a kid and ask my therapist of it was possible that all this was because of those things and I was just imagining all this. My Therapist explained that what I was experiencing was flashbacks, nightmares , intense fear...Not my imagination. HE asked if I had told my therapist about my previous abuse. Yes, I had disclosed all of that to him. Well, HE argued, this could have been because of what happened prior to our marriage.
And then my therapist said the thing that I am still hanging on to: 'No, it is my clinical and professional opinion that she suffers from PTSD and depression because of what YOU did to her.'
It was shocking and affirming and I am still trying to process that one on many levels.
Granted I still have other issues because of previous abuse and he told me earlier this week that what I have is C-PTSD (yes, I know it's not in the DSM-5. I guess it was easier than saying PTSD DESNOS)
HE tried to read an email that was to be a statement of his character written by an old neighbor. HE was denied because it was not available for viewing.(had to be filed with his formal response). HE got kinda mad at the judge and started to argue. She shut him down.
We broke for a recess.
She came back announced that she would give him two years.
Then AFTER THE VERDICT WAS HANDED DOWN he asked if he could ask if the reason he was denied the opportunity to present evidence was because he didn't follow procedure? She said yes. He started saying stuff like: can I get an appeal (yes)'this isn't fair' and 'I couldn't get anyone to help me' 'I don't understand.
And she shut him down.
Said she had listened to him and given him more time to talk than she usually does and she had handed down the verdict.
She'd had enough.
We were the longest case on the docket that day.
I didn't expect to be awarded the r o. Things don't usually work like that for me. I had planned to kill myself tonight when I lost. The rope was already ready.
I kinda feel lost. It's not bad. Just surprising. I'm not entirely certain what to do or how to feel. But I know that the world looks a little brighter tonight and the weight in my chest is lighter.
I know that I owe my court advocate and my therapist a huge debt of gratitude. I know I wouldn't have made it without them. I wouldn't have started this whole process without my therapist's insistent urging.
