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Challenging My Core Beliefs

mszl

MyPTSD Pro
So I think the time has come for me to face my core beliefs about myself. Objectively, I know they might be wrong, but that's what's currently engraved into the grey matter in my head.

I'm FUBAR (F* Up Beyond All Repair) - I'm broken, and there is no way I can fix myself. It's too late for any therapy to change damaged part of me. I can only learn to live with that and try playing as a normal person.

I make only bad decisions - One of my first major life decisions was to take private programming tutoring. That turned out bad as I ended up with my A for next four years. Following that, every decision I make seems to backfire, or I'm too scared to make any choices at all.

I have no control over my life - Kind of a derivative from previous. I don't feel like I was in control ever in my life. And I'm not likely to reclaim it.

Those three are the most apparent. Maybe there are more I'm not aware of. Now I just need to "un-believe" them...
 
in my own psychotherapy, my science training pooh-poohed those core beliefs as unlikely on the grounds that 100% is rare in both nature and science.

maybe 99.9% hopeless?
I have no control over my life - Kind of a derivative from previous. I don't feel like I was in control ever in my life. And I'm not likely to reclaim it.
i break this piece out from the others because this acceptance proved to be quite liberating in my own psychosis. in my own case, i had to give up the illusion that i ever was in control in the first place. my life as a control freakasaurus grew some exciting potentials when i started taking life on life's own terms. here in my senior years, i wonder why i ever wanted to be queen of the universe in the first place. desperate people do desperate things, i reckon.
 
Those three are the most apparent. Maybe there are more I'm not aware of. Now I just need to "un-believe" them...
Countering my most f*cked up core beliefs? Is/Has been one of the most useful skills I’ve ever learned. Pain in the ass, and ongoing, but useful. And pretty darn foundational in becoming the person I WANT to be, rather than a person I don’t like.
 
Relating to the fubar one, I'm currently repeating like mantra: "it's an injury and injuries can be healed".
I identified another one though: I don't deserve free time for myself.
 
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