Cheater!

[Killashandra]

I am a Habitual cheater.
My husband if 17 yrs has been faithful all this time and has dealt with my issues with chivalry and morals. I have not. I have lied, cheated, betrayed and hurt my daughter and my husband
Why can't I stop? I love him and I've blamed him for everything that goes wrong in my life. Right at this moment we are separated and he is serious about divorce.
I have a limited time frame to fix or at least control my sex addiction or it is over.
I have to wonder if in my state if it would be better for him and our daughter that I let them go?
I don't want to traumatise our child anymore than I have. I have put her and him in jeopardy a number of times for my selfish habits.

Is there hope? Has anyone here had this issue ? Please I need help

 

[EveHarrington]

Is your therapist completely aware of your situation?

 

[Chris78]

I am a Habitual cheater.
My husband if 17 yrs has been faithful all this time and has dealt with...

Hi Killashandra, there is plenty of help available, many resources to explore. First off, getting an understanding of the nature of addiction: it's always a symptom of underlying unhappiness, and there will be reasons for this unhappiness, that you can explore with a therapist once you've decided. You can also get a sponsor down the line, or speaking partner. Many threads here about selecting a therapist and different types of therapies. Ultimately, and always, our healing is our own responsibility, and the question is: how bad does it have to get before you make steps to engage the healing process? You have a child, and you owe it to both yourself and your daughter to get back on track and enjoy a good life, you both deserve it

Best

C78

 

[Killashandra]

So I have been working hard on this area and I believe I have struck on something.
The abuser when I was young, the abuse started when I was approx 4 yrs old, would give me "homework" to do between abuse sessions, for example, he would leave porn videos out for me to watch and then practise what I had seen on him, or ask my friends to help open me up over sleepover nights... or talk to strangers about sex.. or masturbate, etc. if I didn't do my homework he was rough and hard and a wall. If I was a good girl and did my homework he was tender and warm.
I think as I look at the past a pattern has emerged.. when I feel my husband is withdrawing or I perceive some kind of rejection on his part or even rejection from me, my brain kicks into survival and I must do my homework. This is subconscious as when this behaviour was installed I was too young to rationally think. I was too damn young.

 

[Gs172003]

So I have been working hard on this area and I believe I have struck on something.
The abuser when...

Killashandra THAT is what you need to work on. What the core belief is.

 

[UniqueSunflower]

So I have been working hard on this area and I believe I have struck on something.
The abuser when...

Killashandra,
I strongly commend you for your insight, self reflection, and honesty with yourself. In your earlier post, you acknowledged how much your behavior is hurting those you are close to and you're inquiring how to get help...you are on the road to recovery. It's tough stuff but nice work. I am dealing with someone in my life who is in so much denial it's exhausting, so believe it or not - it's refreshing to hear of someone who's willing to look at their behavior for what it is and who's willing to review their past experiences and their connection to the present. I hope you are able to connect with some additional resources to assist you on your healing journey.

 

[Recovery4Me]

12 Steps has many branches, one is for those with sex-addiction. Perhaps the following site may assist you with a strong beginning. Healing and handling an life addiction is a brutal challenge and often does not fall into someone's elses time frame. So I gently offer that rehab with specialized therapist (if possible with insurance) is also mentioned among help lines. The site offers a full view of supportive considerations and fodder for thoughts. May you find your first step in your journey to heal with new respect for you...

Dead Link Removed

Prayers, warmth and peace offered your way.:hug: