Sufferer Childhood Abuse, Rape, Domestic Abuse With Current Relationship Problems

[NurseandMom]

Hi everyone,
I'm hoping to find some support with people who struggle with the same issues as I do. I grew up in an abusive, chaotic home. I was raped as a teenager and shortly after my sister had a premature birth (with a fetal demise) on her toilet while I was alone with her. Several months following this I was in dual diagnosis treatment, diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I ended up in an abusive marriage very young with a man with trauma in his past (chaos finds chaos, right?) I am a long way from that. I have tried different therapy, including most recently EMDR. It was expensive, and I put it on hold for the past month. Hoping to get back at it in the new year.

I would love to hear from others with complex PTSD and experience with EMDR. I guess I have a lot of memory and disassociation issues. Sometimes my mind literally goes blank in sessions.

Well, outside I know it looks like I have my life together, but I get panic episodes. I feel like people don't love me, don't want me, are going to use me and leave me. My boyfriend takes the brunt of this, and he's a genuinely nice guy. I get into these episodes and I can't stop myself. I'm considering medication. I would like to hear people's experiences with that as well.

Thanks for looking, I look forward to your responses

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

I am glad you have some support, from your boyfriend. That's always very helpful in this journey. This is a great support site too.

EMDR didn't work to well with me ( it works great with some people! ), I find cognitive behavioral therapy works best for me. I have so many issues that talking about them seems to work best with me. I see CBT as... I need rebuilding as a human being. :)

I take a few medications, I am not sure which ones you are looking into. I do have some anxiety medication, but its a new Rx, and I haven't taken it yet. I am sure some other people will have better experiences they can share...anxiety is pretty common problem here.

Take care of yourself.

 

[Srain]

Welcome to the Forum. :)

I come from an abusive background as well and was finally correctly diagnosed with PTSD 10 yrs ago. I've had my ups and downs with therapy and like you have done the rounds of various techniques including EMDR. Anxiety and panic are very difficult companions in my life and I've found a lot of encouragement through this Site as far as techniques and support. I hope that you find the same.

Nice to meet you.
Peace,
Rain

 

[lil_fighter]

Hi NurseandMom

Welcome to the forum, I am also new - joined a while ago but starting posting today and I hope that you will find this forum useful and therapeutic. :)

I am so happy that after everything you have experienced you have found a genuine guy, that in itself surely shows that you have an improved self esteem which is turn allows you to have an improved quality of life. I understand when you say that on the outside everything probably seems fine and that you have your life together.

Something you said really struck a chord with me..chaos finds chaos..that is so true and makes perfect sense to me now. I hope that someone can advise you about EMDR treatment and that you feel empowered and supported with the use of this forum :tup: