Relationship Partner was raped several years ago current relationship problems

[Markh]

Hi all,
I'm struggling at the moment because I've been with my partner for over 6 years and she told me last week that she doesn't want any commitments, but wants to remain good friends with benefits as one day she hates me and the next one she loves me.
She was raped twice by family friends when she was a lot younger and as she puts it her head is mucked up and all over the place. I've suggested some sort of therapy for her, as our relationship was strong and it's too much I feel to just throw away. We still live together, have sex and cuddles and being totally honest it's doing my head in, because I have no idea what the future holds as she told me she may want to get back with me, although we are sort of at the moment.
She's gone away now for Christmas, I'll be joining her in a couple of weeks, but it's going to give me time to think, so has anyone got any advice, because I love her to bits, and I don't want to lose her.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

I am in the same limbo. I know what it feels like and my heart goes out to you.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Did she ask you to move out? Or to be allowed to date other people? Or is she just talking about not wanting commitment while not making any real changes to end the commitment?

 

[Lost in the Woods]

long story short she is living in a home available to her through her work. To my knowledge neither of us are seeing any one else. We are doing counseling and going on dates a couple times a week. Hugs and kisses are the limit of affection. One day I am hopeful and the next crushed. I feel like a worn out yo yo.

 

[Markh]

Did she ask you to move out? Or to be allowed to date other people? Or is she just talking about not wanting commitment while not making any real changes to end the commitment?

We still live together and it's basically a friends with benefits relationship, with no commitment from her whatsoever. She's even encouraging me to meet other women, but I'm guessing thats to try and stop her feeling so guilty. She told me last week, and a couple of days later because I got upset she told me I should be over her by now, but we were together over 5 years and I can't switch off just like that