My name's Keith and here's my story.
I was about eight years old when I first caught on to my older brother molesting me. It didn't officially stop until I turned 12. It started out with touching then led to humping. I still until this day am scared.
I can only blame myself for what happened because I didn't speak up about it. My Mother always told me that if something was wrong or disturbing me to speak up and I didn't. My older brother constantly told me "If you tell anyone, you'll get in trouble." I feared those words for some odd reason.
I am now 19 and am dealing with the aftermath of things. I told my Mother when I was 15 years old of the incident and she merely apologized. She looked at me and hugged me but for me that wasn't enough. She has no clue of the emotional problems I go through. I constantly feel a sense of weakness because I wasn't strong enough to admit what happened when it first did happen. I'm confused with myself most of the time and feel alone. Even when I'm around my friends I still feel as though I don't fit in. I go to Church and I'm Baptized, And I constantly ask God why did it happen to me.
Another piece of information is that my Father wasn't in my life and I hated him for it. He always said he would protect me and be there for me, but yet he let me get molested. I cling on to my Mother more so because I feel a sense of protection. It feels good to know someone can love you without having sex with you. I also want to note out that the more I told my family of this incident, the less support and love I received from them. It sucks to always hear "We'll be here for you" when in actuality they aren't. It sucks crying at night and keeping emotions build up. Sometimes I honestly wish I was dead because that would break me free of a childhood that haunted me.
But if you read all of this I would appreciate your feedback.
I was about eight years old when I first caught on to my older brother molesting me. It didn't officially stop until I turned 12. It started out with touching then led to humping. I still until this day am scared.
I can only blame myself for what happened because I didn't speak up about it. My Mother always told me that if something was wrong or disturbing me to speak up and I didn't. My older brother constantly told me "If you tell anyone, you'll get in trouble." I feared those words for some odd reason.
I am now 19 and am dealing with the aftermath of things. I told my Mother when I was 15 years old of the incident and she merely apologized. She looked at me and hugged me but for me that wasn't enough. She has no clue of the emotional problems I go through. I constantly feel a sense of weakness because I wasn't strong enough to admit what happened when it first did happen. I'm confused with myself most of the time and feel alone. Even when I'm around my friends I still feel as though I don't fit in. I go to Church and I'm Baptized, And I constantly ask God why did it happen to me.
Another piece of information is that my Father wasn't in my life and I hated him for it. He always said he would protect me and be there for me, but yet he let me get molested. I cling on to my Mother more so because I feel a sense of protection. It feels good to know someone can love you without having sex with you. I also want to note out that the more I told my family of this incident, the less support and love I received from them. It sucks to always hear "We'll be here for you" when in actuality they aren't. It sucks crying at night and keeping emotions build up. Sometimes I honestly wish I was dead because that would break me free of a childhood that haunted me.
But if you read all of this I would appreciate your feedback.
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