Hi I am Tiffany2. My two children and I have PTSD related to my alcoholic ex-husband. My son was locked in a room for hours at age 2-5, while I was at work or church. He has a hard time knowing what is real. My daughter and I suffered mental abuse from my ex and from my son, too. My son is now out on his own. I am seeking advice on how to help children who have PTSD as small children in their own homes and how to help them as they grow older.
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Sufferer Children With Ptsd From Home
- Post starter Tiffany2
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I'm so sorry to hear what you and your kids have been through. I'm so glad you're seeking to help your kids. I've seen what trauma has done to 2 prior generations and how it has impacted me as well as the impacts on my family.
Throughout my childhood and my adult life I have witnessed and heard of trauma my mom has gone through from the time she was a little girl. I have also had trauma during both my childhood and adult years. I have seen the impact of it my kids. It truly is a rippling affect.
I've also been aware of the difference in myself when I see my Mom taking care of herself. It's almost like someone putting a mirror in my face and saying ok, now you need to follow her lead. It helps me to be healthy seeing my mom make good choices and taking care of herself. It gives me strength to take care of myself.
I'm not a psychologist, but I believe I first must heal and maintain it before I can truly help my kids. I believe you can go through the process together if you have outside support. I've seen tremendous success on my two younger kids with EMDR and a wonderful therapist. As far as the older kids, they can be resistant to help, it's tough I do a lot of praying...I think regardless of the age, but somewhat dependent on personality they need to know you're there, they need to be heard and they need that quality time.
I don't know if this helps or where you are at with things, but these are just experiences I've had.
Throughout my childhood and my adult life I have witnessed and heard of trauma my mom has gone through from the time she was a little girl. I have also had trauma during both my childhood and adult years. I have seen the impact of it my kids. It truly is a rippling affect.
I've also been aware of the difference in myself when I see my Mom taking care of herself. It's almost like someone putting a mirror in my face and saying ok, now you need to follow her lead. It helps me to be healthy seeing my mom make good choices and taking care of herself. It gives me strength to take care of myself.
I'm not a psychologist, but I believe I first must heal and maintain it before I can truly help my kids. I believe you can go through the process together if you have outside support. I've seen tremendous success on my two younger kids with EMDR and a wonderful therapist. As far as the older kids, they can be resistant to help, it's tough I do a lot of praying...I think regardless of the age, but somewhat dependent on personality they need to know you're there, they need to be heard and they need that quality time.
I don't know if this helps or where you are at with things, but these are just experiences I've had.
- Post starter
- #3
Thank you so much for your reply.
I had a lovely childhood and had no idea any of this abuse was going on in the world. I know my ex was abused at least verbally. I can see that thingshsve passed down. My daughter and I have very good therapists. But we have less trauma than my son and are responding to therapy well. I feel my son is pleased with emdr what has been your experierexperiernce with this?
Having a good childhood is a blessing and gives you a good foundation. Sometimes horrible things happen, but it sounds like your headed in the right direction and healing. Sometimes we simply can't see it or it's subtle before gradually increasing or we feel something is off in our gut, yet we can't fit the pieces of the puzzle together.
There are numerous times I've had immediate relief and results from EMDR. There are also times where I've ran up against some road blocks and quite a bit of disassociation. Due to trauma (not sure if it was intentional or not) by a previous t doing questionable emdr and I swore I would never ever go to a therapist again.
This all happened following a long period of intense ongoing trauma and complete disassociation in more than one areas of my life at the same time. I was essentially triggered into a state emotionally, that I can hardly even describe. It still terrifies me to think about it. That was over 5 years ago.
I don't know how it happened, but I got referred and miraculously I tried again and I've been with my current EMDR t for two. She's a perfect fit for me, but it has been incredibly challenging. What amazes me is seeing changes in myself I haven't even tried to make happen. I never dreamed I would make the progress I have but then other times the pain and emotion feels so intense and I don't feel like I'm ever going to make it.
She's so in tune with me it scares me to death, yet it's a relief to feel like someone truly gets me. We've had to take a break from EMDR, because Ive hit a block and disassociate even when we do talk therapy. It is such a struggle to work and deal with everything else in life and do this at the same time.
I'm so glad your son is feeling positive with EMDR and is having the opportunity to receive help. Truly, I think half the battle with teenage and young adults is sometimes recognizing that it can help so much and EMDR can provide immediate relief for many people as well as privacy for those who don't want to or can't verbalized their trauma in detail.
I kind of posted a lot...:)
There are numerous times I've had immediate relief and results from EMDR. There are also times where I've ran up against some road blocks and quite a bit of disassociation. Due to trauma (not sure if it was intentional or not) by a previous t doing questionable emdr and I swore I would never ever go to a therapist again.
This all happened following a long period of intense ongoing trauma and complete disassociation in more than one areas of my life at the same time. I was essentially triggered into a state emotionally, that I can hardly even describe. It still terrifies me to think about it. That was over 5 years ago.
I don't know how it happened, but I got referred and miraculously I tried again and I've been with my current EMDR t for two. She's a perfect fit for me, but it has been incredibly challenging. What amazes me is seeing changes in myself I haven't even tried to make happen. I never dreamed I would make the progress I have but then other times the pain and emotion feels so intense and I don't feel like I'm ever going to make it.
She's so in tune with me it scares me to death, yet it's a relief to feel like someone truly gets me. We've had to take a break from EMDR, because Ive hit a block and disassociate even when we do talk therapy. It is such a struggle to work and deal with everything else in life and do this at the same time.
I'm so glad your son is feeling positive with EMDR and is having the opportunity to receive help. Truly, I think half the battle with teenage and young adults is sometimes recognizing that it can help so much and EMDR can provide immediate relief for many people as well as privacy for those who don't want to or can't verbalized their trauma in detail.
I kind of posted a lot...:)
- Post starter
- #5
Thank you for all your info. It helps a lot. My son's therapist is a great fit for him, I think. We have been through several who were not, this is the first with emdr , that seems to be the fit. Sorry you had some bad, but glad you stuck it out.
What helps you most when you are alone and think you can't go on? My son often feels he doesn't want to be here. And then therer are times he feels he has purpose.
Thanks for talking to me.
Glad to help in any way that I can:) your son is fortunate to have such a caring mom.
Sometimes I just need a listening ear to vent and get all the crap out by someone who isn't going to freak out and realizes I'm not going to make major life decisions based on it, it's just how I'm feeling. I just need to be able to voice it, before I can move past it.
At my worst, when I am or feel I am alone and feel I can't go on, sometimes I reach out for help but usually it's specific who can help me or reach me at that point and I will push everyone else away. If they can't help me or are unavailable I more or less suffer through it alone.
The problem with that is that it just confirms all those negative beliefs that, no one truly really cares, nothing is ever going to change, I'm going to always be like this, I can't ever depend on anyone else and I'm too needy and weak...
Sometimes I just need a listening ear to vent and get all the crap out by someone who isn't going to freak out and realizes I'm not going to make major life decisions based on it, it's just how I'm feeling. I just need to be able to voice it, before I can move past it.
At my worst, when I am or feel I am alone and feel I can't go on, sometimes I reach out for help but usually it's specific who can help me or reach me at that point and I will push everyone else away. If they can't help me or are unavailable I more or less suffer through it alone.
The problem with that is that it just confirms all those negative beliefs that, no one truly really cares, nothing is ever going to change, I'm going to always be like this, I can't ever depend on anyone else and I'm too needy and weak...
- Post starter
- #7
Hi, it can be kind of confusing at first. I am fairly new to it as well. I know the layout looks different on a pc vs. a phone.
I usually just click menu from the top and then click on forums and new posts. That's how I found your post. Everyone has the opportunity to reply to your post. You can also go to chat and chat with others too or even send a message to a member.
I think they have some tutorials somewhere.
I usually just click menu from the top and then click on forums and new posts. That's how I found your post. Everyone has the opportunity to reply to your post. You can also go to chat and chat with others too or even send a message to a member.
I think they have some tutorials somewhere.
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- #9
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- #11
More than one person at a time. Too much information. Societies demands. Politics. Having to do detailed things that he is not interested in.
Astrid_Shadow
Silver Member
Hello. I'm Astrid. Welcome to the forum. If you have any questions I can do what I can to help get them answered. Also *hugs* for being so strong and helping others. Its a great thing. I really am sorry about the abuse you and your kids went through, its terrible.
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