General Christian Faith and Prayer

[FreedomO2]

Hi, I know this is a tuff one, talking about faith, and your believe system.
But for those of us who are Christians: How do we integrate our faith into this? Prayer?

And those of us with different faith, or non: How did PTSD effect your system of meaning?

Part of the Symptom Profile of C-PTSD is
"Loss of, or changes in, one's system of meanings, which may include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair."

We personally are Christians, and since Trauma hit 12 years ago, our system of meaning, our faith, and our hope in prayer has fluctuated a lot, between hope and despair. Specially for my wife who has c-ptsd, but also for me, the carer.

Well, maybe you have some thoughts about that. Am very curious to hear from you.
Harry

 

[becvan]

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. - I Corinthians 10:13


We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. - 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

Those two quotes.. are dragged out to say that we are never given more than we can handle. If that is the case, why do I have PTSD?

I don't even know if I believe in god. I don't have a before PTSD, it's always been PTSD. And I have more than I can handle plus some. Many of us who suffer commit suicide just to make it stop.

I find that when someone tries to help me understand why I have endured so bloody much and why I suffer so much, these useless quotes that just make it seem like God's a big fairy tale, get dragged out and put me off the issue even further.

If I did believe in God, I'd be some pissed of at him/her!

Also, the lovely God loves us as a father one really gets me too. I'm a mother. Not only am I a mother with PTSD, I'm the mother of a son with PTSD. If I had it within my power to end my son's suffering, you bet your ass I would. So If God loves me as a father, why are there people like us in this world?

Personally, I don't want an afterlife. I'm already exhausted and would just like blissful nothingness after this.

So.. how does it affect it? It leave a trail of confusion and a bunch of useless, meaningless answers from supposed men of God. It leaves me in a middle ground where I wish I could believe.. but I'm proof that what is said is just not true.

bec

 

[Kathy]

Thank you Harry for starting this thread, it is a subject I ponder much of the time, and there is not much religious discussion upon this forum. I am very interested to read what others have to say about this, Christian or not Christian.

Regarding faith, I certainly do have it, and I find prayer to be comforting. I must admit however that my son's death earlier this year has shaken my faith to its very core. Many of the beliefs I took for granted, much that I took comfort in, has simply disappeared. I am still in the process of sorting that out for myself. My husband and I considered ourselves mistreated by the church when my son was killed. There was speculation initially that his death was a suicide, and the church was very judgemental about that aspect. We ended up having the funeral service at our home, as my son was refused a Christian burial. We are now attending a different church. Things do seem better there, and my daughter has even been attending with us lately, which is a blessing. She lost her faith completely after her own trauma and considers herself an atheist, however she does admit that going to church with us and praying is comforting to her. Perhaps some of that is simply being with us in a tranquil setting, however whatever the reason, we are pleased with her progress. A year ago she was so enraged with the church that she spoke about setting fire to it! So it is huge progress for her.

I regard PTSD as an illness, not unlike cancer or diabetes. It is a neurobiological brain disorder. My daughter for example, has actual changes to her brain which show up on an MRI. I know some Christians believe illness is a sign that they haven't enough faith and so on, however I have never believed such. Everyone has their various problems, some seem worse than others, however I do not believe that is a reflection of faith or a lack thereof. Nor do I believe it is God's will. More simply I believe that the world is chaotic, and bad things happen, even to good people. That is the nature of the world and its evils, nothing is perfect. Prayer and faith are more my way of coping with the troubles in life, than a way to judge myself or others. I certainly do not feel that I deserve special favours from God because I am a Christian; far from it.

 

[FreedomO2]

Churches can be ... what ever the right words is. Sorry to hear that Kathy. The son of friends of mine in Austria died of drugs, same story, no Christian funeral. Added an additional/preventable dimension to the whole grief.

I became a Christian when I was 22. And my life changed radically from black to white. There was finally peace in my heart, a peace I was looking for in people, drugs etc... And that peace is still there, I can't deny that. It's been with me for 18 years. It's more like a emotional experience which drew me close to God, than a cognitive understanding of who God is.

Well, that's one thing, my personal experience.
The other thing is what I see and hear and read. What Christians do and don't do, What they read in the bible, or don't read. For years I left during the sermons on Sunday, if I didn't like it. It took some courage in the beginning, but now I am pretty good at it :-) I just leave if I think it's bs.
And then there are all the descriptions of Gods Character. The father, the comforter, the provider, the healer, etc...
Bec elaborated on that abit. Thanks for that.

I don't want to live without God, and without the peace. I know what it was like before, and I don't want to go back to that.
But there are so many unanswered questions, specially about pain and suffering, and healing. It's a real dichotomy.

 

[Kathy]

Harry, have you read the book by Harold Kushner, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People"? Whilst I do not agree with it entirely I did find it somewhat comforting. "The Problem of Pain" by C.S. Lewis is also one I have re-read since my son's death. I quite like C.S. Lewis, he is one of my favourite Christian authors.

 

[Jim]

Yep, the church truly let us down with Brian's death. Was a huge blow considering the commitment we had to the church over the years. Almost lost my faith over it. Certainly it was badly shaken. However. The new church is much improved. And. Like my wife, I still take comfort in prayer.

Jim.

 

[Linda]

I was a pretty religious girl once, however, after a major traumatic event had converted to a total atheist. I felt as god had left me and as I do not need god who is letting sich things to hapapen. To be honest, I think now that would eventually come to atheism anyway.

 

[Seabeevet]

There is a saying in my church, "The church is perfect. The people in the church are not. "

Bad or sad dealings with people are a fact of life in ANY church. I Do not blame their short comings on God / Jesus or any higher being you believe in.

 

[batgirl]

It's common for people to be angry with God over tragedies. Don't judge my parents, they lost their son only 7 months ago!

 

[Eagle]

I have c-ptsd and had traumas from age 4. Traumatic events took place over many years. RA at age 7. Violent death of my niece and fiance. Violent attack by a mob and attempted rape at age 19. I was a complex mess. I continued to slide down hill for years and coped in all the usual unhealthy ways. I broke down finally in 1989. At that time I began a radical relationship with Jesus Christ and that has made all the difference for me.

As one person said this brings peace you cannot get any other way. I know all of my healing over the years has been due to God working in my life. I am now dealing with the severe sexual abuse from early childhood. God did nothing to me but to help me and lead me out of my pit.

I am so sorry people have hurt so many claiming to be christians. He is so often misrepresented by ppl claiming to be His spokesman. If it isnt love and compassion it isnt God. If it isnt mercy and grace it isnt God. Best wishes to all who posted here. Eagle

 

[Bella78]

As I continue to get hints of everyone's stories in posts, I am filled with grief and compassion for you all. How much hurt is shared amongst us.

Kathy, Jim and Evie, my heart goes out to you all. I am gathering it has all been much more than any of us ever desreve for your family. And I am very sorry to hear of the church that turned its back on you in your time of need. Sounds like they all need to relearn the meaning of a community that loves regardless.

As far as faith goes, as I have matured in my views on this in recent years, I have developed my own view on what my faith is and what I want it to be. It is just that. Whatever we want it to be. Look how many religions there are the world over. ANd those milions upon millions of people all pryingin to their different God or God-like figure each day. Prayers answered, prayers not answered, faiths strengthened and lost, each day. But I believe in one thing, a higher power of some decription. Someone or something that hears our prayers. That we can turn to for comfort, to give thanks to, to ask forgiveness of and to ask for guidance from. Make it whatever gives you peace I say. Personally I pray to God, the Saints and all the (Guardian) Angels.

I am from a Catholic background and attended Catholic Schools. My husband and I were married by a Catholic Priest in a Catholic Chapel. But I would not consider my own personal faith strictly Catholic. I believe. I have faith. But I believe in what makes sense to me, not the exact story that comes from the Old Testament. And either way, my God, whatever his/her forn loves me just the same, because I am a child of God. I don't think we were ever meant to be by the book in our faith. That's exactly the fundamental principle of faith. You believe because it's what you believe, and it's what fills yyou heart with love, not because you are told it's what you should believe.

Well, it's the way I see it and what makes me feel good.

 

[FreedomO2]

My understand of God has changed so much over the last 12 years.

Thanks EAGLE for sharing bout your radical change and relationship with Jesus.
My life also changed in 89 and my experiences with Jesus turned my life around. I was part of a pentecostal fellowship, were alot of emphasis was put on the works on the hl spirit, and Jesus the healer doing miracles even today.

That was before PTSD.
I lived through the same traumatic events my wife lived through. She experienced it on a much deeper level and was now diagnosed with chronic and complex ptsd. But this traumatic event had an effect on me too.

Today I doubt God is a healer, at least not an instant healer. If he heals, then through people and through time and through community, like this PTSD forum.
I don't understand Gods character anymore. I can not put pain and the original sin (Adam/Eve in Eden) together, I don't trust churches anymore, I don't trust any prophesies, and I have a hard time with sermons, clear-cut sermons... where I am told that this and that is bad, and If you believe in Jesus everything is great. What a bunch of bs. Life is hard, bloody hard.

The only things that are left in me from 1989 and all through the trauma event and my spouse-PTSD result, is peace, there is a deep peace in me, that came with my life-change in 89 and never left me. And I have friends, not perfect friends though, but I have community with christian friends who are reflective analytical thinkers, and who don't buy in everything they hear on Sundays.

Well, looking forward reading some more stories here and reflections
thanks, harry