[ Correcting Another Believer ] “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.
Matthew 18:15 NLT
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This is the first step. If you read later on in this passage, it says to go to a group of folks if the person does not repent, maybe 3 or so, and again point out the fault to the person privately with those 3 people present.
I recently had these first and second steps skipped on me and the person instead went to the pastor about it directly, calling me in for a conference with the pastor and then pointed out something I had done to offend her, never giving me an opportunity to apologize, realize my mistake and correct it or anything. I am now probably seen in a bad light by my pastor, but I don't know. It all seemed so unfair to me!
So, folks, if someone offends you (and maybe they didn't mean to do so at all!) go to them privately and take it up with them first, before going to anyone else or your pastor. This will also solve the problem of gossip in the church as well. If you go to the person directly who offended you, there is no chance of it getting out to others, being distorted and exaggerated and so on.
