Clingyness

[JFSurvivor]

Does anyone else struggle with being clingy? I think I have a good idea as to why I do but I am not sure. If you are comfortable sharing, what causes your clingyness?

 

[Zanshin]

Fear, mainly. I feel like if I walk away, someone will forget me. If they're away too long, I'm forgotten and replaced.

Former trauma repeats itself in my mind, even if it's not actually happening, and that's what has happened in the past.

 

[illusionist]

I used to be clingy. Fear of being left behind, and losing that person. Fear of not being able to function without them...without them my world would fall apart.

It didn't.

 

[Snowflake]

All the time-

Fear of being forgotten or abandoned.

 

[Longing_for_the_sea]

I am definitely clingy. Varying stages though. Sometimes a vine... sometimes a pitbull. It can be annoying for the significant other, but sometimes the pitbull thing saves our relationship.

I would say there is no perfect answer. Everyone has issues... some try to push others away... some try to pull away... some try to suffocate you... some build walls... others want so much freedom that you hardly feel connected. All of us are broken in one way or another...

 

[Chitoshi]

Does anyone else struggle with being clingy? I think I have a good idea as to why I do but I am not...

I do. I struggle with being clingy a lot and tend to ruminate on whether I'm being clingy or not at any given time. I'm currently struggling to recognize when I'm clingy out when I'm justifiably asking for attention from my boyfriend. He's nice enough right now to kindly mention it without upsetting me too much. At this point I've got so many other things to work on he's become my security blanket/safety net and I'm not quite ready to "stand up on my own yet." I fear he'll leave me because I'm broken somehow. He's my rock and honestly has been a trooper dealing with my extra-clingy moments over the years. But yes, like I said earlier , I struggle a lot with being clingy and you are not alone in this. It's mostly because I have a perpetuating negative thought/view/belief that I am defective because of my trauma that I'm still working on.