Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

Hey thanks @Freida @MrMoonlight @Swift @somerandomguy @Sietz @bellbird

Accidentally took a full dose of my meds I was rationing last night. Still no hormones to help so they are saying I will need to double up. But I slept really well and woke up feeling a bit better. My eyes and head hurts and I had a weird ass dream of being 92 in a nursing home with a bunch of kids in their 20s who were trying to say they trained a dog to do something gross, but it wasn’t quite a nightmare. I didn’t steal someone’s Really Cool rubber goat dragon in the dream, but I should have, because it was a dream and it was an awesome toy

I'm sorry I haven't been around much, we kinda miss our timings now..

It’s okay, I think I started coming on at random times while trying to sleep

You need people in reality on your side, but you've got to ask for help, ok? Can you promise me that?

Sure thing




I am not sure how to respond but I wanted to at least make sure you weren’t worrying about me. I am going to go for a walk because I remembered that people in this neighborhood have been allowed to shoot at anything they want since 1820 something. One time I reported a gunshot and the police told me people are allowed to shoot here. My neighbor across the street who lives in what was pedo’s house shoots a f*cking Native American style bow and arrow, of course it has to be out of that f*cking house. Seeing that thing leaning on their fence is creepy to a lot of neighbors to be fair, but I try to not worry about it. Dude living there is chill and probably just an enthusiast. He has chickens but the last herd of deer walking through he was taking pictures of so I’m not sure he’s a hunter because he hasn’t even eaten pigeon (pigeons are better as pets) and got sad when my cat killed a squirrel. I think all the neighbors get sad when my cat kills a squirrel. But at least the dog pack is gone

There used to be a dogpack who would rip people up, the government finally cared one day and rounded them up. I doubt they were adoptable to be honest. It was before I was born so I don’t know the details besides that my aunt was lied to about what really happened to her cat. Her mom was a dick

 

[littleoc]

Sorry, I was trying to think of something positive to say, it didn’t work

I feel like I had a stroke, so I might question a doctor about this. I dreamed I had a stroke. I have never been hung over (I don’t drink much, long story) but I imagine this is what it feels like. Not sure if the medication is doing this or if my brain glitched on me again. Never woken up being unable to see before? No wait, after the TBI a bit. That doesn’t count

Anyway, it is hard to think positive when you wake up in a garbage dump and the therapist who’s supposed to help clean it just won’t call back. I’m tired of people bailing with no explanation.

Something positive. I’m not homeless. That’ll work for now.

Also i don’t live in Aleppo. That feels negative for some reason

 

[littleoc]

I still have friends messaging me. Been a bit less because I isolated. I didn’t want to share that I was down. I usually don’t because it usually goes away and then I’m back to being peppy and people looking shocked that a “normal person” has a service dog

Nestle is worn out, she’s been asleep for as many hours as I was. Which is more than eleven hours.

 

[bellbird]

I feel like I hate a stroke, so I might question a doctor about this.

The key symptoms of a stroke can be remembered by the acronym FAST :)

Face - does one side of your face droop when you smile?
Arms - does one arm drift downwards if you raise them both out to the side?
Speech - does your speech slur?
Time - call 911 immediately if you notice any of these signs.

Just felt it important I put that in there.

I have never been hung over (I don’t drink much, long story) but I imagine this is what it feels like

Ditto. I've had that feeling in the morning before too.
Could be because you had dropped your med dose and then accidentally took the full dose?

Never woken up being unable to see before?

But yeah this definitely seems like something to see a GP about ASAP.
:hug:

 

[littleoc]

:hug:

I do not fit stroke criteria, yay

 

[littleoc]

The medication I take is also a blood pressure med, so it’s possible my blood pressure dropped

It’s also possible it went higher and made me more anxious earlier

Symptoms listed on the box do include eye pain

 

[littleoc]

One time I got so dehydrated that my blood pressure was way too low. And I couldn’t walk. It sucked

I lived tho

 

[bellbird]

One time I got so dehydrated that my blood pressure was way too low. And I couldn’t walk. It sucked

I lived tho

Have you been keeping hydrated the last few days?

 

[littleoc]

Not as much as usual. I showered a lot. I cleaned my dog’s food and water bowl and gave her a ton of water. I think I filled my water bottle once or twice this week. Ate a bunch of fruit. Hoarded it a bit. I’ve been a bit all over the place. I mostly just remember stressing over papers and wondering where Buddy the newt went, so I’m not sure really, but I’m thirsty now and just laying in bed so I’d say I’m dehydrated. I kept up my allergy meds (for mold) but I those make one thirsty and being thirsty increases allergens — probably what was up with all the nose bleeds I had? I don’t have a high blood pressure problem so that couldn’t have done that

 

[bellbird]

probably what was up with all the nose bleeds I had?

Seems a fair hypothesis.
Mould is awful - we had a lot of it in my old flat.

I’ve been a bit all over the place.

That's understandable, given how things have been with your meds.
Just take the best care of yourself that you can, k? :hug:

 

[littleoc]

Yep yep, no worries @bellbird

 

[littleoc]

Oof, my mom triggered the shit out of me three times in less than a few hours. I’m not sure she understands that you can’t just decide to not get upset by things

Chose to drive while triggered to keep my mom from also getting her mild version of road rage. I found out I like driving when no one is acting funny the whole time