Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

I feel like it's probably normal to like a song, though, no matter what it's saying. Right? Maybe a little weird to pick one about mass murder for a romantic relationship but whatever, it sounds pretty.

Maybe I'm just still triggered from that time I had to stand between Brandi's mom's life or death that one time. It wasn't that bad of an experience but it weirds me out.

 

[littleoc]

I finally heard from my therapist and am scheduling an appointment with her really slowly. I'm trying to find a time when my mom won't be able to sit in the waiting room.

Her office is a house. The room we talk in is a bedroom with a comfy couch. All the rooms are former bedrooms. And the waiting room is an entry room and a tiny living room/dining room area. She has a noise machine, but when my mom answers phone calls I can hear her clearly so I'm pretty sure she can hear me. It terrifies me. My mom generally reads and doesn't pay attention and she generally respects my privacy, but you know.

Doesn't really help that my therapist will randomly say things about how I'm doing to her, while I am standing in front of her, and if I react I feel like something bad will happen. I'm not sure what's causing that and I don't want to discuss it with my therapist.

 

[somerandomguy]

Jeez littleoc, you build metal bugs! Is there anything you can't do??

And both Jamie and Brandi sound like horrible people with horrible tastes in music.

 

[littleoc]

How much does the maintenance of a house cost?

THERE. Now people can tell me how to be more realistic. Haha.

you build metal bugs!

I still can't dance D: I'm considering lessons! lol

You could build these, too, though, I bet!! I believe in you!!

And lol, you're right. I'm not even sure why I liked Brandi so much. I guess because she helped with stuff originally? lol

 

[ILoveLife]

I'm not even sure why I liked Brandi so much.

Well, I'm not sure you actually did? We want to yeah, and when we want to our minds can get a little cloudy. :hug:

 

[bellbird]

Kind of interesting, now that I think about it, that Dove and I have both developed lung problems since moving in here....

Tweeter got lung problems from my old house that had mould.
He's much better now we are in our new place. I'm quite sure the mould was adding to my sickness, but it hadn't got to the point of giving me lung issues yet.

I'm so so proud of you for making plans to move out.

And those metal bugs... WOW. You are awesome.
Not weird, not a bad person.
Rather: kind, thoughtful, creative, brave, and awesome. So very awesome :hug:

 

[littleoc]

@Sietz you’ve got a point.

I suppose I liked her because we were children and my goal was to make a friend.

And this friend liked to play pretend with me so that was Awesome. With an A.

I obviously didn’t know it’d get out of hand. I do remember the day I was decided whether or not to befriend her. I didn’t worry about how she kept saying that we met because I was “not right in the head.” She would repeat that to nearly everyone, kept saying I was disturbed. But I was more bothered by the fact that she couldn’t emotionally regulate and was trying to rely on me. I wish I’d been able to talk to my mom about this at the time. If my dad weren’t in the way, I bet my mom would have said she saw the same red flags that I was seeing. Brandi was creepy depressed. Every little thing was a reason to die.

I wish I’d known she was manipulating me. Instead I thought I was evil. And a liar. And unworthy of Gd. Very annoying that that happened, mostly because I know that she really believed that. What a messed up human.

@bellbird thank you :hug: :hug:

You could make the metal bugs too!! They aren’t so bad! :) :)

I’m proud of me too. I was afraid to make a permanent arrangement. But my mom has showed me several times now that she’s unwilling to make changes right now. So it’ll have to do.

 

[littleoc]

Also. Mold sucks. I agree.

Fun fact about why we spell it “mold” instead of “mould” in the US:

Back in “the day” (I forget the year, somewhere in the late 1700s-early 1800s though, not that long ago) newspapers used to charge for space by the letter. So everyone started spelling things with unnecessary letters left out, so the article/ad would still be readable without costing too much. A favorite letter to leave out was “u”! Color, humor, mold, etc. :)

 

[Freida]

Jamie liked to kill baby birds by beheading them, like to leave goats out with tetanus to die "interestingly," liked to kill kittens, etc.

This^^^^ is the textbook definition of a sociopath. Just sayin

 

[bellbird]

I’m proud of me too. I was afraid to make a permanent arrangement. But my mom has showed me several times now that she’s unwilling to make changes right now. So it’ll have to do.

You're a superstar. I'm so happy that you are setting boundaries for yourself.
You deserve so much, and a healthy living environment is most definitely one of those things.

And Brandi is/was an awful human being.

Back in “the day” (I forget the year, somewhere in the late 1700s-early 1800s though, not that long ago) newspapers used to charge for space by the letter.

Very interesting!

 

[bellbird]

So everyone started spelling things with unnecessary letters left out

We tend to like adding extra letters in :P
Obviously the form of English we use isn't exclusively for NZ, but when it comes to our own native language. Well. This is the name of one of our towns, which also happens to be the longest town name in the world:

Taumata whakatangi hangakoauau o tamatea turi pukakapiki maunga horo nuku pokai whenua kitanatahu

Try saying that ten times ;)

 

[ILoveLife]

Taumata whakatangi hangakoauau o tamatea turi pukakapiki maunga horo nuku pokai whenua kitanatahu

:roflmao: