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Relationship Combat And All Ptsd Carers: How Does This Impact Your Faith?
- Post starter Army_Brat_88
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That's so true L4J! And while I am dealing with this 'stuff' prayerfully and meditating in silence to listen for God and meditating on Scripture, God is helping me to help others that are looking to me. We don't live in a vacuum. We impact many people with our loving decisions or drama. I know how selfish I am and I am so grateful for God's help and He is so near!
Eleanor
Diamond Member
Strangely, living with a PTSD sufferer hasn't challenged my faith at all. But I have kind of medieval views about God etc. Specifically I think God doesn't give a hoot (if God is rightly described as the sort of thing that "gives a hoot", which I kind of doubt) about pain. Or pleasure. And doesn't worry much about death either. What most of the traditions I am familiar with teach is that pain is a given if you are above ground. What is not necessary is suffering. The difference is that suffering is the thing we impose on ourselves when we resist the pain that is present in our lives. When we stuff our grief and hurt and anger and refuse to experience what we are experiencing - that creates suffering, a different kind of discomfort. Pain is regrettable and it is good to do what we can to alleviate unproductive pain, but it is not a reward or a punishment... it just is. There are, as everyone on this site knows all to well, WORLDS of pain on this small planet. And there is a great deal that would be well done to prevent and alleviate it. But God... what does God have to do with Pain?
Here is the thing - if you think of God as being some kind of big judge, handing out rewards or punishments, in the form of pleasure and pain, and if you are realistic about the amount of pain and suffering in the world you will end by either hating God, or becoming numb to your own and other's pain. But if God isn't THAT, then what is God? I find it easier to say what God isn't. I have a kind of ... conception... of what God might be. It helps to start by trying to think of God as a Verb or maybe an Adjective.
I think God is a lot of agendas that make up the universe. With respect to human beings, the pattern I see that seems "intentional" is that the individuals I know keep getting challenged in the same way over and over again with increasing stakes. For example: My best friend is simply awful at standing up for herself. Really, given her overall level of competence and intelligence as an adult human being it is just infuriating how often she decides to be a doormat. So she finally decides to leave her (not horrible, but totally impossible) husband. But they have four kids and so she is still "stuck" with him. And how do I feel about that? How should I feel about that? On the one hand, he takes advantage of her still. On the other hand, she is really pissed and having to continually deal with him is giving her both the opportunity and incentive to stand up for herself - and goodness knows she needs the practice. So it is kind of like the Universe (I find that language works better for me that God which keeps trying to be a noun and have a face) keeps pulling strings and setting her up to work on this... But how complicated would the thing have to be to coordinate something like that not just for her but for everybody - all at once? My brain goes "tilt" at this point and I guess *that* is what I'd call God. And this is just one level of agenda "God" keeps going. Most of them I likely couldn't even understand.
This view could easily be written off as a kind of rationalization - and maybe it is. But it is helpful to me in that it keeps me focused on what I ought to be practicing and learning in difficult situations. It goes some way to short circuiting a kind of poisonous existential resentment of the "what did I do to deserve..."? Answer: probably nothing, but it happened, so now you can curl up and die or deal. I am also more than a little bit of a fatalist - of the "if you are fated to die in a flood, you will survive a lot of battles." sort. But this view helps me maintain the attitude that however painful or irritating my circumstances are, they are always interesting and a challenge. Failures, as well as successes are inevitable. No big deal. In Christian terms I guess I think God leaves lots of crosses around for us to pick up, and it is often helpful to others when we carry them, but there is no shame or blame when we lay them down for a while out of exhaustion. But at the end of the day it is not a one size fits all world, and it is hard hard hard to have any kind of clear idea about what others can/should/might be able to do....
Here is the thing - if you think of God as being some kind of big judge, handing out rewards or punishments, in the form of pleasure and pain, and if you are realistic about the amount of pain and suffering in the world you will end by either hating God, or becoming numb to your own and other's pain. But if God isn't THAT, then what is God? I find it easier to say what God isn't. I have a kind of ... conception... of what God might be. It helps to start by trying to think of God as a Verb or maybe an Adjective.
I think God is a lot of agendas that make up the universe. With respect to human beings, the pattern I see that seems "intentional" is that the individuals I know keep getting challenged in the same way over and over again with increasing stakes. For example: My best friend is simply awful at standing up for herself. Really, given her overall level of competence and intelligence as an adult human being it is just infuriating how often she decides to be a doormat. So she finally decides to leave her (not horrible, but totally impossible) husband. But they have four kids and so she is still "stuck" with him. And how do I feel about that? How should I feel about that? On the one hand, he takes advantage of her still. On the other hand, she is really pissed and having to continually deal with him is giving her both the opportunity and incentive to stand up for herself - and goodness knows she needs the practice. So it is kind of like the Universe (I find that language works better for me that God which keeps trying to be a noun and have a face) keeps pulling strings and setting her up to work on this... But how complicated would the thing have to be to coordinate something like that not just for her but for everybody - all at once? My brain goes "tilt" at this point and I guess *that* is what I'd call God. And this is just one level of agenda "God" keeps going. Most of them I likely couldn't even understand.
This view could easily be written off as a kind of rationalization - and maybe it is. But it is helpful to me in that it keeps me focused on what I ought to be practicing and learning in difficult situations. It goes some way to short circuiting a kind of poisonous existential resentment of the "what did I do to deserve..."? Answer: probably nothing, but it happened, so now you can curl up and die or deal. I am also more than a little bit of a fatalist - of the "if you are fated to die in a flood, you will survive a lot of battles." sort. But this view helps me maintain the attitude that however painful or irritating my circumstances are, they are always interesting and a challenge. Failures, as well as successes are inevitable. No big deal. In Christian terms I guess I think God leaves lots of crosses around for us to pick up, and it is often helpful to others when we carry them, but there is no shame or blame when we lay them down for a while out of exhaustion. But at the end of the day it is not a one size fits all world, and it is hard hard hard to have any kind of clear idea about what others can/should/might be able to do....
I've read over this thread quite a few times and I have to say I'm a little lost! :whistling:
Well...I think the question was...how does being a supporter affect your belief in god?
It did not change much about my beliefs. My beliefs changed on their own...years ago. Used to believe in god... the church...
Now..less devout. I stopped attending church. I don't pray much. Sometimes....
Found myself praying today without realizing it. Desperation... if anyone can read my mind and possibly invisibly alleviate this suffering...
Instead of telling people what Jesus or God or the Bible would say... I tell them what I would say. Instead of praying for people... I think about them.
Give them my thoughts and my personal wishes that they transcend their suffering...no longer rely on god for that.
The Bible and the Church mean well at their core...people will take what they want from it!
Some use it to justify hate...some use it for motivation for hate...some use it as a disguise...
But some use it for good, motivation for good... that is not religion but people. There are good and bad people who will take good and bad things from religion and god.
I suppose god is real. He doesn't really affect us as much as we are taught.
Handing out rewards or punishments. Giving people what they can handle...
Maybe I've been listening to my husband talk about it too long! :p A lot of people seem angry at god for what happened to them in their lives.
Maybe there are fates.... I don't think god causes our suffering. I don't think god causes our triumphs. We cause most of that.
Sometimes wonder if God is a design to take credit away from people? I don't blame god for what happened to my husband or for how difficult our lives are.
At the end of all this life I sure hope there's something out there! It's been a hell of a ride!
To me...maybe through faith...strength...hope...it is hard being a supporter but it comes from an easy place.
Well...I think the question was...how does being a supporter affect your belief in god?
It did not change much about my beliefs. My beliefs changed on their own...years ago. Used to believe in god... the church...
Now..less devout. I stopped attending church. I don't pray much. Sometimes....
Found myself praying today without realizing it. Desperation... if anyone can read my mind and possibly invisibly alleviate this suffering...
Instead of telling people what Jesus or God or the Bible would say... I tell them what I would say. Instead of praying for people... I think about them.
Give them my thoughts and my personal wishes that they transcend their suffering...no longer rely on god for that.
The Bible and the Church mean well at their core...people will take what they want from it!
Some use it to justify hate...some use it for motivation for hate...some use it as a disguise...
But some use it for good, motivation for good... that is not religion but people. There are good and bad people who will take good and bad things from religion and god.
I suppose god is real. He doesn't really affect us as much as we are taught.
Handing out rewards or punishments. Giving people what they can handle...
Maybe I've been listening to my husband talk about it too long! :p A lot of people seem angry at god for what happened to them in their lives.
Maybe there are fates.... I don't think god causes our suffering. I don't think god causes our triumphs. We cause most of that.
Sometimes wonder if God is a design to take credit away from people? I don't blame god for what happened to my husband or for how difficult our lives are.
At the end of all this life I sure hope there's something out there! It's been a hell of a ride!
To me...maybe through faith...strength...hope...it is hard being a supporter but it comes from an easy place.
Eleanor
Diamond Member
Love this! Thank you!
New here. Just wanted to say to Army brat that I feel similar. The only thing I am holding on to right now is that currently God is using my husband/sufferer as sandpaper in my life (iron sharpens iron), that I am to be faithful even to the point of death (this is an actual verse and I know it sounds a little insane, but given what I know/believe to be true, hasn't HE given so much more? also, I have the personality that dreams of being Joan of Arc, so that helps :-), and finally I just pray and try to listen to what God is telling me as I learn about how to try to make this work. What God does or doesn't do for others isn't for me to judge.
The word says that He is a just God, so I know that He will bring justice to those who have been wronged, just as He will bring justice to those who do wrong. Do I get angry with Him? Of course I do. I am human and I have emotions. Ultimately, I have to remind myself how no matter what I have been through, He does, in fact, bring me through every time, and with priceless blessings each time.
The word says that He is a just God, so I know that He will bring justice to those who have been wronged, just as He will bring justice to those who do wrong. Do I get angry with Him? Of course I do. I am human and I have emotions. Ultimately, I have to remind myself how no matter what I have been through, He does, in fact, bring me through every time, and with priceless blessings each time.
A
Anna
I am a sufferer not a carer, but I have experienced something warm to the point I believe I have a guardian angel. One night I felt a warmth and light in my head that made me feel amazing. I am so happy to be alive :)
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