General Combat Ptsd - Once A Recon Soldier, Always A Recon Solder?

[May1321]

I'm at a loss and seriously feel as though I am crossing over to a loss of sanity.

My sufferer is a retired Army Recon Scout. I feel I take a risk even bringing this up here on the public site but feel I may get more feed back.

He's been diagnosed with having 50% PTSD related symptoms. He hasn't started seeing a psychologist again but is very aware of most of his symptoms and has been trying to manage it - few days better than others depending on the stress level which lately has been high for him. Some stuff - especially whent he stress is low - we can navigate our way through. Lately, the biggest issue has been this insistant need he has to keep "low profile" which apparently includes our relationship, and even "keep an eye" on others...??

It's very strange and I can't help but feel torn between this being a serious issue, or him just being a lying brat just to raise flags and get my goat :eek: The awareness he does have is that I am having a very hard time NOT thinking he always has a second agenda. I try to talk to him about it but that just immediately leads to him metaphorically 'jumping out the window and disappearing into the night never to be heard from again'.

I know this is harsh to some but something he has openly joked with me, but I can approach him bluntly and say "I don't believe you" "This is crazy" "I think you need to talk to someone" but if it leads to anything in how it affects how I feel or trust, he just tells me to "leave". I just don't know what to do.

Does this sound like something others have dealt with... a bit of the soldier that can't leave his job behind like some still sleep with their weapons? I mean, I see legitimate excuse for him in some regards having this triggered in his world and he'll listen to me if I can tactfully approach it, but it just seems so hard for me to completely wrap my mind around.

Any experience to help out, very welcome.

 

[wife of]

I recognise all of the above but have no answers for you. The best suggestion I have is that you watch the video available on the combat ptsd site that details how forces training contributes to ptsd.

 

[LoyalOne]

My Sgt is a constant line of sight checker. He also would be beyond furious if he knew I were talking to anyone about his issues. He gets angry when his girl friends talk to each other about him. His first question for any of us when we mention we ran into each other is; 'Yeah? What did you talk about?' He has told various ones of us not to tell the other ones we are talking to him or each other.

WHY?! Well, OPSEC, duh. :( It's very unnerving.

But not to that degree. (((you))) If you find a good video on how to help someone wind down a bit, please share. :)

 

[May1321]

watch the video

Ooo... Great advice! Thanks, Wife.

 

[May1321]

Oooh, I'm pretty sure he has read some of my stuff on here. I don't keep it a secret but I do try to keep it DL.

He slips sometimes and tries to lie to me about this or that on how he came up with information (lying has been a big discussion that has stuck in his head when it comes to what "I" think of it). The other day we were making dinner and he mentioned something about me getting on a forum and discussing symptoms of PTSD. I've been using the Private section mostly when I need to vent specifically, but he's on to me, I'm pretty positive.

The way I feel about it, I'm trying to help me so I can help us and him. I'm not trying to put him down and there's not enough information here for him to line up who is who. I felt that moment was an opportunity to open up the conversation since he knows I caught him red handed and talked to him a bit about some stuff I've read, and asked him some questions about this and that and if he'd be interested in getting on the Combat forum, at least. He said "NO" and got all huffy and ended the conversation but I figure it was at least a step in the right direction. He's curious so if spying leads him to healing... maybe we can put a positive spin on things ;)

 

[LoyalOne]

Oh, crap. I actually just got cold sweats thinking of Sgt confronting me about this. I know this is anonymous, and that I have not said anything I wouldn't repeat to him, or that he doesn't already know, but seriously - cold sweats.

I kind of want to have my posts deleted and tell him about the site, honestly. I want him to go to the Combat site. I read there, and a lot of the guys have stories like his, from the war horrors to the civilian life struggles. I think he could benefit from talking to brothers (and sisters :) he had what he termed 'a little Marine' in his unit, and wrote me letters about what a badass she was) who understand what he has done and seen.

 

[May1321]

I think he could benefit from talking to brothers

I know what you mean sometimes about "them" reading our stuff.

Has he mentioned how he feels about talking to "brothers in arms"??

My brother can do it and it helps him but my guy HATES it. He absolutely down right refuses to talk to anyone about it... it's in his past and leave it alone sort of thing. He knows he needs to get serious about the psychologist and I think I help pave the way for that because I see my "t" every other week but it was every week. Making it a safe idea for him and sharing with how great I feel and the results of my own healing.

But when it comes to the military... he doesn't want to remember. He came home with 3 of the, I think, 19 guys he went over with. His Lt. was hit twice, the second time was the end and happened within arms reach of my boyfriend. I don't blame him for not wanting to "chat" about the old days but am so grateful he confides some in me as he gets more comfortable because I think anyone holding those sorts of memories in is detrimental to future health... seriously!

God! I just wish love and hugs sometimes was enough to make him better :(