Relationship Combat ptsd vet pushes me away around the same time, each year.

[headshrinker89]

Three years of push-pull dynamics and its painful. About 3 years ago we met randomly, it caught me off guard and was powerful. I've never been one to believe in "love at first sight" but when I met him....that was a game changer. It's hard for me to connect with people and I'm not much of a "dater." I'm an old soul who wants to get married; I'm all for monogamy.

He tells me one night that he needs to give me something. He then goes on a little speech about how he's been waiting to give this to someone who has proven themselves to him and then he says "I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, but just know this is very serious for me." He gave me his dog tags, the ones he wore during combat. From that night I knew he was falling in love me with me and I with him. One week goes by, after this night, and he ends everything. This was the fall time of 2015.

He blocks me from contacting him and then a couple months go by and slowly he comes back in my life. We get closer and then boom, he pulls away again; this time is Spring 2016. Same routine occurs again......we get to hanging out again (just as friends) things start to progress and then the pulls away again (Fall 2016). Then it repeats itself into 2017 and currently I'm in the "blocked from contacting him" stage.

Anyone else go through this?

 

[anon1234]

Yes. It's a painful situation :(
Sorry to hear this is happening to you too.

 

[LuckiLee]

Anniversary dates are very powerful. Sorry you're struggling. Read around the forums lots of information here.

✌ & ❤ to you and your Veteran!

 

[Freida]

Yep -- Anniversary reaction. They suck. I do the same thing to hubby starting about now until the end of January. Then I do it again in June.

Anniversary completely overwhelm a lot of sufferers, because you lose track of "then" and "now" Even though I know I'm here, in 2017, all of my emotions and physical responses are reliving the trauma. I can't handle it and it makes me just want to hide from the world. They are confusing and painful and sad and angry and and and

Unless he is doing counseling he is probably not going to change. It takes some serious therapy to get past them. Don't mean to be the bearer of bad news -- but.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Myvet struggles from around Veterans Day until after the holidays. On top of all the holiday crap there are a lot of trauma anniversaries. Insurgents loved to f*ck with them over the holidays.

 

[headshrinker89]

Myvet struggles from around Veterans Day until after the holidays. On top of all the holiday crap th...

With your Vet, is it a specific date? Like with my Vet, its not so much a set date but, like I said, rather a generalized time frame. It's interesting your guy gets triggered around Veterans Day which carries over till after the Holidays....that is a lot like my guy. Like most veterans, especially combat, they don't really like the attention of Veterans Day causes for them, that is for sure something I overlooked as it is during the Fall. Thank you.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I don't think it's so much driven by the date as the time of year. I'm not sure how much he was even aware of dates during his traumas... plus the holidays are stressful in general, so I'm sure that adds fuel to the fire.

 

[Freida]

Agreed. I know some of my dates others are just time of year

 

[Buttercup]

Yes, I go through it all the time. Maybe it's also due to to the relationship progressing? That seems like part of the process or cycle you mentioned. That is stressful too.

 

[headshrinker89]

Hi, thanks for the response. Are you military as well?

 

[Buttercup]

Are you talking to me? :) if so I don't have PTSD. Just a supporter of sorts to someone who is prior military and other career induced PTSD.

 

[headshrinker89]

Are you talking to me? :) if so I don't have PTSD. Just a supporter of sorts to someone who is prior...

Yes talking to you :) Just wondering, but yes I would agree with the relationship progressing is a huge trigger as well. With my
Vet, that is always a huge aid in pushing me away and him isolating.