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- #49
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Comedy - Welcome To Doctor Doppemhiyer's Clinic! (lol)
- Post starter JohnnyM53
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ISupportHer
Diamond Member
ED
I'm Baaaaaaacck!
Dr, this is a very personal questions. I know you do not posess medical credentials but......Hey, what ARE your credentials? Doc? Is that a big red rubber nose in your graduation photo? Hmmm, Does that sheepskin really say you are a graduate from Clown College?
Sorry , I digress.
Doc, I need to ask you about ED - Erectile Dysfunction. I know there can be Meducal causes but there can be a Psychological componentt too, right? Things like anxiety, poor self esteem. What are your thoughts? I come to you sensing you have some experience in this area.
It is such a personal problem. Oh, I almost said it is a "little" problem but it is a big problem. I mean BIG, even large. OK, it's A HUGE problem. GET THAY STRAIGHT, It's HUGE, OK?
OMG, OMG, OMG, I have been telling everyone I have worked as an ED Nurse (Emergency Department)! I am so embarassed! Do you think they have the wrong idea?
Note to self: You are an ER Nurse (Emergency ROOM)
I know that I see TV adds for pills you can take. Is that all I need? I will keep my web brouser open in case the treatment involves naughty web sites.
Please provide full prescribing information including a complete web address as well as your usernames and passwords.
One last thing. I assume that current Patient confidentiality protocols will preclude your contacting my wife to verify the size of my "problem".
ISH
I'm Baaaaaaacck!
Dr, this is a very personal questions. I know you do not posess medical credentials but......Hey, what ARE your credentials? Doc? Is that a big red rubber nose in your graduation photo? Hmmm, Does that sheepskin really say you are a graduate from Clown College?
Sorry , I digress.
Doc, I need to ask you about ED - Erectile Dysfunction. I know there can be Meducal causes but there can be a Psychological componentt too, right? Things like anxiety, poor self esteem. What are your thoughts? I come to you sensing you have some experience in this area.
It is such a personal problem. Oh, I almost said it is a "little" problem but it is a big problem. I mean BIG, even large. OK, it's A HUGE problem. GET THAY STRAIGHT, It's HUGE, OK?
OMG, OMG, OMG, I have been telling everyone I have worked as an ED Nurse (Emergency Department)! I am so embarassed! Do you think they have the wrong idea?
Note to self: You are an ER Nurse (Emergency ROOM)
I know that I see TV adds for pills you can take. Is that all I need? I will keep my web brouser open in case the treatment involves naughty web sites.
Please provide full prescribing information including a complete web address as well as your usernames and passwords.
One last thing. I assume that current Patient confidentiality protocols will preclude your contacting my wife to verify the size of my "problem".
ISH
- Post starter
- #51
Dear ISH,
What’s up?
Regarding my credentials, I do possess them as I am a licensed psychiatrist, and therefore am a medical doctor, but specializing in musical therapy for “hopeless” cases.
Ahh, yes, the photo. It’s of my colleages and I, at the medical hunting camp. I got lamb-basted that day, and we were singing our camp anthem, Bah Bah Back-Of-The Sheep.
Regarding ED. Not a peasant condition to have is it? Based on your past letters to me, I believe it would be fair to say that there is PSYCHO-logical component in your case. And yes, I do have experience in these matters. I’m certain that you can appreciate that, being a psychiatrist, most of patients are “down”.
I can appreciate the fact that this problem “seems” to be huge to you. However, since I did give you your annual, physical examination recently, I can assure you the hugeness of the problem is all in your “head”.
I’m also certain that you, as the head ED nurse, vil appreciate that you may be suffering from hypochondria, which as you may know, “stems” from the imagination. I’m sorry to hear that you feel so em-bare-assed about this situation.
Regarding treatment, you are correct that medication is the answer, and there is no need to access websites to get you up and running again.
Attached is a prescription for you. Please note that one of the major side effects is insomnia, and that you could be “up all night” as a result. Should that be the case, I recommend anything that you consider self-soothing.
Regarding your wife and privacy concerns, you are correct that patient confidentiality is of the up-most impotence to me. That said, given that she has recently visited my office, I believe she is fully aware of your situation. And she knows that the problem is not as big as you make it out to be. Quite the opposite in fact. So there is hope.
Thank you and best wishes with this up-coming treatment.
Doc DVD, MD
Bcc. Nurse Ratchet: Please file in OCD section of patient’s folder.
What’s up?
Regarding my credentials, I do possess them as I am a licensed psychiatrist, and therefore am a medical doctor, but specializing in musical therapy for “hopeless” cases.
Ahh, yes, the photo. It’s of my colleages and I, at the medical hunting camp. I got lamb-basted that day, and we were singing our camp anthem, Bah Bah Back-Of-The Sheep.
Regarding ED. Not a peasant condition to have is it? Based on your past letters to me, I believe it would be fair to say that there is PSYCHO-logical component in your case. And yes, I do have experience in these matters. I’m certain that you can appreciate that, being a psychiatrist, most of patients are “down”.
I can appreciate the fact that this problem “seems” to be huge to you. However, since I did give you your annual, physical examination recently, I can assure you the hugeness of the problem is all in your “head”.
I’m also certain that you, as the head ED nurse, vil appreciate that you may be suffering from hypochondria, which as you may know, “stems” from the imagination. I’m sorry to hear that you feel so em-bare-assed about this situation.
Regarding treatment, you are correct that medication is the answer, and there is no need to access websites to get you up and running again.
Attached is a prescription for you. Please note that one of the major side effects is insomnia, and that you could be “up all night” as a result. Should that be the case, I recommend anything that you consider self-soothing.
Regarding your wife and privacy concerns, you are correct that patient confidentiality is of the up-most impotence to me. That said, given that she has recently visited my office, I believe she is fully aware of your situation. And she knows that the problem is not as big as you make it out to be. Quite the opposite in fact. So there is hope.
Thank you and best wishes with this up-coming treatment.
Doc DVD, MD
Bcc. Nurse Ratchet: Please file in OCD section of patient’s folder.
ISupportHer
Diamond Member
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
ISupportHer
Diamond Member
Tinnitus
Doc, glad you are in!
I have been having a problem with tinnitus, or ringing in the ears.
I have tried to figure out the cause. You know, new medications, etc. Thought that maybe those pills you gave me for my last "problem" were the cause. Maybe because the effect of the pills can change my circulation? Like the blood flow goes elsewhere?
Or, did I mention that I just joined the church bell choir? I took you advice as far as music therapy. Could that be it?
By the way I have big bells. Errrr, I mean I PLAY big bells. None of those sissy twinkly ones. I like the big ones. The feel of those big bells in my hands and the sound they produce.
What can I do?
ISH
ps - do you offer a discount for frequent patients? Like a punch out card at the coffee shop? 10th visit free or something. These co-pays are killing me and I may have to give up a few of my web sites.
Doc, glad you are in!
I have been having a problem with tinnitus, or ringing in the ears.
I have tried to figure out the cause. You know, new medications, etc. Thought that maybe those pills you gave me for my last "problem" were the cause. Maybe because the effect of the pills can change my circulation? Like the blood flow goes elsewhere?
Or, did I mention that I just joined the church bell choir? I took you advice as far as music therapy. Could that be it?
By the way I have big bells. Errrr, I mean I PLAY big bells. None of those sissy twinkly ones. I like the big ones. The feel of those big bells in my hands and the sound they produce.
What can I do?
ISH
ps - do you offer a discount for frequent patients? Like a punch out card at the coffee shop? 10th visit free or something. These co-pays are killing me and I may have to give up a few of my web sites.
- Post starter
- #58
Tinnitus
Hello. Hello? Is anybody there? Pick up the phone please.
Dear ISH:
I see you are still “up”. That is good news, no?
Tinnitus (ringing in the ear) – pronounced “tonight–us!”
Vell, vun possible cause is that your phone is actually ringing. Could it be that you vent ahead and accessed some vebsites, and now that you have, they are calling you back for payment?
You are correct that medication does increase blood flow, and could possibly send some blood to your head. However, based on your many letters to me, I sincerely doubt that your head is getting more flow.
The other possibility, and most probable, is that the ringing results from your choir work. As you know, you have been assigned to the percussion section in musical therapy for hopeless cases, as have others vit anger issues (recall your letter to me regarding shooting rubber arrows at cars). Vhich reminds me, have you decided on ECT?).
As you state, you play bells, vhich seem big to you. You are sitting next to the bipolar people, so you probably are too close to the cymbals, making you cymbal-minded.
Perhaps if you squeeze your bells as hard as possible (highly recommended), they vill resonate less, and eliminate tinnitus.
Regarding discounts and your financial situation, I hope you understand that vhether it is vun problem or 20, each problem requires a separate assessment. Perhaps if you ignored vebsite access you vould save money. You could also sell your big bells and simply focus on your drum schtick.
I am certain I vill be hearing from you, you hypochondriac you.
Sincerely,
Doc DVD MD SAF (still arrow free)
Bccc. Nurse Ratchet – Please contact CIA and have this patient’s ears tapped for incoming calls
Hello. Hello? Is anybody there? Pick up the phone please.
Dear ISH:
I see you are still “up”. That is good news, no?
Tinnitus (ringing in the ear) – pronounced “tonight–us!”
Vell, vun possible cause is that your phone is actually ringing. Could it be that you vent ahead and accessed some vebsites, and now that you have, they are calling you back for payment?
You are correct that medication does increase blood flow, and could possibly send some blood to your head. However, based on your many letters to me, I sincerely doubt that your head is getting more flow.
The other possibility, and most probable, is that the ringing results from your choir work. As you know, you have been assigned to the percussion section in musical therapy for hopeless cases, as have others vit anger issues (recall your letter to me regarding shooting rubber arrows at cars). Vhich reminds me, have you decided on ECT?).
As you state, you play bells, vhich seem big to you. You are sitting next to the bipolar people, so you probably are too close to the cymbals, making you cymbal-minded.
Perhaps if you squeeze your bells as hard as possible (highly recommended), they vill resonate less, and eliminate tinnitus.
Regarding discounts and your financial situation, I hope you understand that vhether it is vun problem or 20, each problem requires a separate assessment. Perhaps if you ignored vebsite access you vould save money. You could also sell your big bells and simply focus on your drum schtick.
I am certain I vill be hearing from you, you hypochondriac you.
Sincerely,
Doc DVD MD SAF (still arrow free)
Bccc. Nurse Ratchet – Please contact CIA and have this patient’s ears tapped for incoming calls
amethist
VIP Member
Dear Dr DVD
I have been thinking about your percussion section for a while, well a few minutes, seconds now. As my sufferer tries to tell me it is about time I stopped slamming doors, as at my age I should have grown out of this childish behaviour.
Well he started, it was his fault, he made me do it, so if I want to slam doors I will do. After all "It's my door and I will slam it if I want to". Sorry forgot myself for a bit there.
Back to the percussion, I just thought I could put the door slamming to good use, why waste a good slam when it's going spare.
Amethist.
I have been thinking about your percussion section for a while, well a few minutes, seconds now. As my sufferer tries to tell me it is about time I stopped slamming doors, as at my age I should have grown out of this childish behaviour.
Well he started, it was his fault, he made me do it, so if I want to slam doors I will do. After all "It's my door and I will slam it if I want to". Sorry forgot myself for a bit there.
Back to the percussion, I just thought I could put the door slamming to good use, why waste a good slam when it's going spare.
Amethist.
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