Relationship Coming Back

[Pinkmoon1]

Advice please? My BF who is a sufferer has pulled away the past 2 weeks and now is coming back and we are starting again. I need the best advice to know how to handle it from here, I am happy but don't want to smother him......

 

[digger]

A bit more context might be useful for people to give you appropriate advice. What in particular are you expecting to have problems handling?

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

I wish I had some concrete advise, but you need to feel it out. I would recommend reading as much as you can on PTSD and you need to set your boundaries, but only you know what those should or need to be. I'd say communication is key and sufferers don't always communicate feelings or needs very well. If that is an issue, figure out the ways that work best for you. And understand, he will probably isolate again. He will probably push you away again. Figure out what you need in order to deal with that.

I wish you the best!!

 

[cuppycakes1975]

Hi there , I've had a simalar situation I have PTSD and my partner and myself were having a bad time as he struggled with supporting me with PTSD , but what we realised is that there is nobody who can say what to do but you both take it day by day ,and support him the best way you can and if he doesn't want to talk thengive him that space , he'll come to you when he's ready , that's what we do to handle the PTSD and support it's just a case of day by day. I hope this helps my partner used to asl ppl what to do or say but it's a day by day situation. I realy hope this helps but also tell him you're there throughout thick and thin and daily struggles. Good luck ull both be fine me and my partner are getting there :)

 

[abs_21]

Same situation, partner left our home and isolated nearly 3 months ago, no contact for the first two weeks, minimal contact after that but we slowly stared spending time together a couple of hours one week, a night out the next and then last weekend we went away for 2 nights and next weekend we are going away for 4 nights.... its not perfect but its a damn sight better than it was. We have a great time when we are together, now with limited contact via text in between, but he is not able to discuss his feelings, our situation, whats going on or what happened yet. Im hoping that this will come as its what makes the situation all the more confusing for me.

Any advice would be appreciated

 

[Pinkmoon1]

A bit more context might be useful for people to give you appropriate advice. What in particular are you expecting to have problems handling?

We are fairly new in this relationship and as feelings started to deepen then he started to drift, especially after weekends together or really intense nights together.

I know now that he is scared to have me see the darker parts of himself and when he drifts its because he is hiding that part from me. He started to say that he has to make himself "Better" for me so he started going to the gym and is trying to move up at his job.

I want to know how I can make steps for him to feel he can start to trust me and my feelings for him? That he can start to believe that I love the good, the bad and the ugly because I have those sides too, we all do in some way.

 

[abs_21]

When I first met my partner he was exactly the same. We would have amazing weekends together then I'd get a text on the Monday saying that he couldn't do it, couldn't cope when feeling and emotions got involved. Then he'd get in touch a few days or a week later and it would start all over again. 6 months we went on like this before we became official. I didn't know about his PTSD then and he was yet to be diagnosed with bi polar.

I remained consistent with my affection, enjoyed our time together for what it was and never put any pressure on him. Then one day he just commited to me.

That's the only advice I can give.

It was by no means easy I hurt many times but he was worth it x