Completely Lost My Voice Again!

[digger]

So very very frustrated with myself - need to vent - damage limitation and all that.

Last two counselling sessions I literally haven't been able to say a single word. I come away from it so annoyed with myself.

Seriously feeling like giving it up today. Although I will probably calm down later, I'm sick of feeling this way.

 

[Abstract]

Oh, so sorry to hear that Digger and I so sympathise. :( Both with the experience and the frustration and self judgement that comes with it.

It will get better again. I think you took a big step and disclosed quite a bit to your t? It seems it is a "normal" aftershock for you with your patterns in t. Hang in there.

 

[digger]

I think you took a big step and disclosed quite a bit to your t? It seems it is a "normal" aftershock for you with your patterns in t.

Thank you @Abstract. I guess it is yes, I just find it sooooooooo frustrating! I know you know that too though. In theory, in my head, I can talk and I can deal with this...in practice I just can't. I go there with the intention and the belief that this week I will get past it and then I can't again. We chip away and we grind to a halt, then we chip away some more and stop again and sometimes it is just so painfully slow.

 

[shadowchaser]

Things get better but it takes time. All of us wish there was a quicker way to get threw our chaos. But there isn't. I like to think of it at times as a mesh of yarn. It's tangled and all over the place. You got to start undoing it. Sometimes your going to make it worse and other times your going to get a little further threw the knot. Just hang in there.

 

[arfie]

One step forward, two steps back... Yes, it is horribly frustrating, but no matter how often I give up, it remains what it is. I suffered hysterical mutism and stuttering as a child and it still plagues me when I get stressed out. Still haven't found a solution other than letting it run its course. Notice the absence of "just." There is nothing easy or just in the ride.

Gentle hopes for healing, digger.

 

[EverOnly358]

Don't be too hard on yourself, @digger1! This happens, it's happened to me, too. It's all really, really hard. But you're doing the right things... you just have to keep going to therapy and you'll talk when you're ready. It'll be okay.

{{{Hugs}}} if you want them,
Hang in there,
D123

 

[Reds]

I am sorry things are so difficult for you right now, we all go through that and it will get easier with time. I went for two months not being able to talk to my t, I was getting frustrated with myself but it got better. Just hang in there

 

[mytai]

n theory, in my head, I can talk and I can deal with this...in practice I just can't. I go there with the intention and the belief that this week I will get past it and then I can't again.

I can relate to this @digger1 . It is incredibly frustrating preparing to go into a session with your T and having every intention to talk about a subject and then you can't even open your mouth to say a word.

I've gone through several sessions where all I can do is maybe whisper yes or no, but mainly nod through an entire session. It is frustrating, and like you I beat myself up over it after I leave. The only thing that keeps me going back sometimes is that I KNOW that this is the T that can help me heal.

I know it's hard, but try not to beat yourself up for having difficulties being verbal in therapy. Be gentle with yourself digger1. Things will get better, even if you need to spend a session with your T talking about ways you two can communicate when you get to the place you're at right now. My T and I have already had a discussion of sorts about what other clients of hers have done, or currently do when they have trouble communicating.