D
Deleted member 30956
I know that there is Nothing wrong with me and everything wrong with this violent and ill world. But the isolation is so terrifying. And I'm scared.
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Friday
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Welcome to the forums :)
I_Am_Titanium
Bronze Member
I can't begin to imagine what you're going through. I have PTSD from abusive relationships. I've felt isolated for so many years of my life. I felt scared and terrified. Isolation is awful. Then I realized it wasn't because of me. It was this messed up world and the messed up people I chose to be with. Personally I felt scared and terrified because I thought I was alone. I felt so alone. Now I've come to realize I'm not alone. You're not alone either. I don't know if this helps or not. I'm really glad you found this forum and wrote a post. I'm new to this forum and have found the people here to be very welcoming and encouraging. I hope you find what you need.
Namenotdiagnosis
Gold Member
A problem shared is a problem halved, we are a lovely bunch and are happy to support you when you feel comfortable to open up more x until then welcome to the forum x
intothelight
Sponsor
Welcome to the forum!
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D
Deleted member 30956
Thank you. I was sexually abused as a child by my so called "father". It happened totally out of the blue and went on for a year. I wasn't able to get support and to start the healing process until early twenties, so the damage to my psyche was particularly deep. I've no siblings and my mother has schizophrenia (early childhood rape). I developed Complex PTSD in mid twenties and became barely functional. I've been on meds for a while now. This year I "graduated" from a four year therapy which was extremely beneficial to me, as it helped me to begin to love myself and to understand that I was not responsible. I'm slowly rebuilding my life after being non-functional for many years, but it's very hard. My relationships with men are surprisingly healthy and fulfilling, but making friends with fellow females is hard. I'm going back to school this fall, as my medicine is working quite well to ensure I will be a good student this time. I'm now living in poverty from check to check while my abuser is much wealthier (and is a financial safety net, which kills my dignity and chips away at my soul). My dream is to obtain a bookkeeping certificate with which I could support myself and my cats, and also attain formal musical education, as I have a gift and want to share it with the world. (The gift developed right in the middle of my being abused, as if though my soul had split open and light began to shine through. A paradox.) This is a wonderful site. Thank you for having it here
Truthful_Whispers
Not Active
Actually, you are correct (about the world, anyway). However, you probably have developed some form of anxiety issue/mental illness, because you seem agoraphobic. I understand. We feel the need to stay in our safe "bubble", but doing so can be terribly isolating and lonely.
Truthful_Whispers
Not Active
Oh, I just now read that you are diagnosed ptsd from sexual abuse. I am on a limited income also, and support many felines I have rescued. I wish you luck on your academic aspirations, and hope you can find some acceptance and understanding here.
Milo's papa
Gold Member
Thank you for sharing Salad, I'm sure it was not easy to open up to total strangers. I know that there is going to be a lot of support for you here.
Welcome Salad.
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