selfcompassion
Bronze Member
I have complex PTSD. I am 53, female. I had severe abuse as a fetus/infant, as my borderline personality disordered mother was having a psychotic break down while pregnant and after my birth.
I have repeated the only intimacy I knew by marrying two other cluster B types, hence repitetion compulsion as the behaviorial health world likes to call it.
After realising I married another abuser, I abandoned myself. I didn't love and value myself enough.
I have done, EMDR, DBT, neuro feedback therapy, talk therapy, Tom Stone techniques, and read PETER WALKER books(this guy knows his stuff, and is amazing).
I figured out how to tap into my subconscious and FEEL my way to health. I learned to love and accept myself and my past. I eventually realized every event of abuse was perfection because it made me who I am now. I did a lot of grief work, crying over and over and over.
Now, I cry because I'm grateful for everything that has happened...EVERYTHING...to reach this place of emence gratefulness is possible. IT IS A LOT OF WORK.
I'm still have emotional flashbacks not not as frequent, as long, or as intense.
Mental freedom and peace are felt more and more.
NEVER GIVE UP...NEVER
I have repeated the only intimacy I knew by marrying two other cluster B types, hence repitetion compulsion as the behaviorial health world likes to call it.
After realising I married another abuser, I abandoned myself. I didn't love and value myself enough.
I have done, EMDR, DBT, neuro feedback therapy, talk therapy, Tom Stone techniques, and read PETER WALKER books(this guy knows his stuff, and is amazing).
I figured out how to tap into my subconscious and FEEL my way to health. I learned to love and accept myself and my past. I eventually realized every event of abuse was perfection because it made me who I am now. I did a lot of grief work, crying over and over and over.
Now, I cry because I'm grateful for everything that has happened...EVERYTHING...to reach this place of emence gratefulness is possible. IT IS A LOT OF WORK.
I'm still have emotional flashbacks not not as frequent, as long, or as intense.
Mental freedom and peace are felt more and more.
NEVER GIVE UP...NEVER
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