Complex Trauma And Intuition

[Deleted member 8714]

Several years ago, I had a very definitive experience with intuition. It was when my intuition started to come back to me and I started to trust it. Basically for me, if I don't use it, I lose it. I regularly practice trusting what my first gut feeling is about a person, place or situation.

My experience years ago was physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. I will never forget it. I walked up to a door and was going to knock on it. Before I did, I was overcome with an intense feeling in my gut or solar plexus. Then I asked the Holy Spirit, what does this mean? The answer was, the man in this house has committed sexual atrocities with his children. I knocked on the door and spoke with a woman. She invited me into the house. I could only stay in that house for a few minutes before I was so overcome with the darkness in the man which I saw across the room from me. I excused myself saying I was ill. And I was physically ill from what I was sensing on many different levels. I was later able to substantiate my initial gut feeling about this man through a trusted person. Ever since I experienced that moment I've vowed to trust whatever comes to me, never doubting my intuition again.

 

[Philippa]

That's incredible. I had the same thing...though it was with my own father. I just knew he'd done something to my brother...but didn't have any proof beyond that 'knowing'. It's haunted me ever since.

 

[Amy Jo]

(from child abuse perspective) I think our intuition is what saved us when we were young--it told us to hide because the danger we were in was too large, there really was no way out and our bodies knew it. We knew we had to save the trauma for when we were older/more capable to handle it. I think our intuition is still intact, only it gets buried beneath the volume of all our fears, insecurities, mutated processing, etc.. Even when I'm triggered and dissociating I KNOW on some shred of a thread what I need to do. However, I think there are glitches when we are having flashbacks or maybe other PTSD symptoms, and that's when I feel kinda helpless in helping myself. Still working on it...

 

[Kintsugi]

I have different thoughts on this. One, I think that my attraction to dangerous people is actually a product of so deeply trusting my ability to know what other people are going to do. I pride myself on how many predictions I can accurately make about people's behavior. I am generally attracted to dangerous people who I initially believe that I can control (it's really all about control, for me), but I made the mistake of underestimating many of those people. Others I backed away from just soon enough to not get into some really bad situation.

Also, some further thoughts on 'intuition.' I have recently researching intuition as framed by a book called Blink, which discusses intuition as snap decisions that come from a rapid synthesis of many complex thoughts that is so fast it is unconscious and manifests as a gut reaction rather than a series of subvocalized, logical thoughts that you talk yourself through. Just interesting to think of in this discussion. How is it we may be forming these opinions? Where does our intuition come from, a simultaneous connection of ideas or just a vibe? Do we synthesize components of these snap decisions differently as a group, or is it just individualized? I'm really interested in these origins.

 

[just me here]

just revisited this forum for the first time in awhile, checking on threads I was following back in the day. I have been thinking about intuition and perception as it applies to people I meet and I have realised that I definitely don't trust anyone anymore.
Basically people suck, and I have come to fully beleive it when my alarms go off. I won't suffer the fools any longer, I won't tolerate unwanted behaviour, I won't turn the other cheek or give the benifit of the doubt.
I feel like I need to stay low and let the wounds heal up awhile, so that the next attack won't be enough to do big damage.
As an EMT I heard so many say "I never thought this would happen to me". I have learned to say to myself "it happens to everyone, it will happen to me again and again". There is no safety, there is no bliss outside of ignorance, there is no cure for the human condition. People suck, say it once and beleive it and the whole idea of listening to your intuition becomes a moot point.

 

[Kintsugi]

As an EMT I heard so many say "I never thought this would happen to me". I have learned to say to myself "it happens to everyone, it will happen to me again and again". There is no safety, there is no bliss outside of ignorance, there is no cure for the human condition. People suck, say it once and believe it and the whole idea of listening to your intuition becomes a moot point.

I've gone through a few periods of this kind of self-protection and prepared thinking (I will inevitably get hurt, so I should accept that before it happens and not afterward). One style of these phases was bad. I mistrusted everybody so deeply that I refused to become close to anybody and cut myself off from nourishing and good relationships out of fear and being on guard. Another version of this self-protection has been helpful to me, one where I felt incredibly confident in my own ability to help myself and not rely on the kindness of others but one where I could still be open to good relationships.

I think that I'm going through a version of this now, but I am isolating too much to see how it will affect relationships at the moment. I don't know how long it will take me to put together my emotional Ironman suit this time.

 

[Philippa]

I think I'm at a similar stage as you are MissAntiSunshine, insofar as I am doing my best to assemble my armour, and hiding in the meantime, which seems logical to me. I also tend to attract the dangerous ones, lately anyway.

 

[Kintsugi]

I am doing my best to assemble my armour, and hiding in the meantime, which seems logical to me.

*hugs* I know how it is. You can share the quilt I'm cowering under if you want. ^-^

 

[mikenanboy]

Sterre,
I have been the same way as long as I can remember. I find lately, the last few years maybe..., that I will try to stop when I get the intuition feelings and try to slow down and go with the feeling if possible. I still find myself pushing the thoughts away, and constantly try to at least run options in my mind as what to do. I find more often than not that if I would have gone with intuition, it would have been the best option. I think that you being aware of what is going on with your intuitions is half the battle!!