Sexual Assault Confronting an abuser.

[BoN-bOn]

There's a poster here that knows how I feel about this. So your relative needs relief and to get relief...

You are absolutely right...the more I think about it, the more I feel like the only reason I would be doing it is for her sake not for my own well-being. She has already been told my side of the story...& that isn't going to change. He knows the truth no matter what story he comes up with. I don't see him owning up to what happened...he will be trying to do everything he can to make it not seem so bad. Of course I would love to try & salvage a relationship with my sister but in my heart I know that she's just searching for any reason not to believe me & to be able to live with what happened any way that she can. I did email my therapist back & expressed my concern about how it feels very important for her to believe me. She never responded. I'm hurt.

 

[BoN-bOn]

*update
Family member shows up on my doorstep with another family member to gang up on me. Threatens to call the police if I don't talk (which didn't even occur to me in my state of panic...that wouldn't even be possible?!). So I looked her in the eye & went through every single detail. Again. She continued to say that the 3 of us needed to sit down & discuss it & i said, "that will not happen without a therapist." She said "oh yes it will, this is about ME now, you have ruined my marriage." :( I have been instructed to call the police next time she shows up like that again.

 

[Sideways]

Maybe you already know, but I'm going to say it anyway - you are not responsible for the state of their marriage. That was pure emotional blackmail.

Sorry you were put in that situation, and I hope they back the f*ck off:(

 

[Nyssa]

OMG, what a selfish and horrible reaction your family member is having!!

Given her state of mind, this confrontation is definitely not a good idea. Even with a therapist. And I agree with you, your therapist should tell you she believes you in this situation.

Can you call a friend, or have a friend come over to your place?

 

[BoN-bOn]

OMG, what a selfish and horrible reaction your family member is having!!

Given her state of mind, this c...

This happened a few days ago. It's been quiet since, other than a text message stating that he's denying it. My therapist believes me, she was just trying to get ME to trust myself. & I get that. I've got to be strong enough to not back down in that situation & not worry about who believes me or not.

 

[Butterflies2023]

I do agree with much that has been said. I would not meet with the two family members I would suggest you offer the wonan to attend your next session with your T.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think doing this conversation seems to be so far, an accident waiting to happen, with dire consequences for you. This could all backfire on you and if you do this take a really strong friend with you so you are not going to get ganged up on and whoever you take must believe you and be on your side. Also have a exit strategy just in case things do go south. Good luck.

 

[Sideways]

The threat to call the cops unless you talked? The ambush at your own home? Blaming you for the state of her marriage? They're all deal breakers for me.

This isn't someone who is willing to listen to your side of the story with any degree of respect. This is someone who is to be struck off the contacts list as you move forward with your recovery and hang onto friends who genuinely respect and care for you.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree.