Confused And Unsure

[breecheer1123]

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. He has known since day 1 of my PTSD from a past abusive relationship. I constantly get awful nightmares where I relive the situation and even find myself sleep walking. I know that it must be difficult to deal with this every night that we are together, but he is starting to get frustrated with me and even said tonight that he doesn't know if he can handle it much longer. I don't know what to do, I keep trying to get better but I cannot seem to and then I can't make him see that I don't choose this and that I want to be better and more normal for him. Any advice? I just don't want to be a burden anymore.

 

[katiekat]

Are you in therapy?

 

[breecheer1123]

Yes CBT at the moment

 

[Wounded Scribe]

Welcome to the forum. I trust you will be able to find answers to some of you questions here in time.

 

[scout86]

he doesn't know if he can handle it much longer.

That's HIS deal. You can't do anything about what he can or can't, or doesn't want to, "handle". He has a legitimate right to make that choice. Not everyone can handle everything.

That doesn't make YOU wrong or the situation YOUR FAULT. All it means is that things aren't working on in a way he feels he can cope with. You are who you are. Who you are is fine. You aren't supposed to have to make yourself over into some other person to make a relationship work. It could be that you need to do some more work on your own healing process before you're ready to be in a relationship. In that case, that's what you need to focus on first. What does your therapist say about this?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

What about Prasosin?

ETA

It is a blood pressure medication that many take in order to relieve their nightmares. I know that others have had success with it. I haven't personally taken it as my nightmares are primarily confined to daytime hours, so most of the time I can avoid them. But, I do know it can be a very helpful medication!

I suggest doing a bit of research on it and then talking to your psychiatrist about it. You might also want to talk to you SO and let him know that you're willing to try more things to get a handle on this symptom as you know it is taking a toll on him and you don't want your relationship to fall apart because of your nightmares. Have you considered separate sleeping quarters? Its not ideal, but it may help your relationship at least in the meantime.

I know that sleep is one of those foundations of mental health, so I'm not surprised that the nightly nightmares are taking a toll on him. For me, when my sleep gets better, my other symptoms are a LOT better, so I am really hoping that if you can get a handle on these nightmares, that your overall relationship will improve, too.

 

[KwanYingirl]

His frustration probably pales in relation to your own. PTSD is like that-waxing and waning with uninvited, intrusive memories that overwhelm us. Slow and steady is the only way to move forward even if it sometimes feels like you're sliding backwards. You are where you need to be in your recovery. People that don't have PTSD have little patience with the persistent manifestations of it. Keep doing what you are with therapy. PTSD affects trust, safety, self esteem and intimacy (just about everything-even driving to the corner store!!)
I used to sleepwalk too, but no more. The last thing you need is someone insisting you be what you aren't. I am so sorry you suffered through an abusive relationship, no one deserves that and it wasn't your fault. It is just so insidious. Keep on keeping on. It is possible to feel better, it just takes time. Don't put added pressure on yourself to recover faster. It doesn't work that way.

 

[Seagreen]

How awful for you to have to relive your trauma so often.

If I am right about this (I think) CBT addresses our thinking patterns. Teaching us to replace negative or non helpful thoughts with positive or helpful ones. I'm just assuming a lot here but if you haven't already tried a trauma processing therapy, and your therapist thinks it would be suitable then maybe you could consider that as another option. I found that processing my traumas was the only way to really ease my symptoms.

I hope you find something that works for you. Wishing you sweeter dreams in the future.