Relationship Confused

[tac1212]

Over the past month my friend (sufferer) and I have gone through a rough time. We've known each other about 5 months. We were dating, things were good. We were spending a lot of time together. I think we both started having feelings we weren't ready for and recently went through the pull back stage.

I thought it was over but he kept contacting me and we started communicating again. I've been really giving him space but he always seems to reach out to me. I Think we still have feelings for each other but are being very cautious. We don't go for more than a day or two without talking or seeing each other. Only now it seems he contacts me mostly when he is feeling anxious and we go through our usual routine that calms him down which consists of me giving him back rubs and just hanging out, having dinner, watching tv, talking, all usually at his place which is where I know he feels most comfortable when anxious.

Although contact/communication has been consistent, we haven't gone out or spent time like we used to. I want to be committed to the friendship but don't want to be used. I cant say no to him when he is suffering and of course bringing any of this up while he is anxious is out of the question. Anyone else have this type of experience? How did you handle it?

 

[99Phoenix99]

I want to be committed to the friendship but don't want to be used.

Not to pry but are we talking about a friendship or a relationship? Or a friendship that would lead to a relationship? Because I don't really know how to respond unless I know which it is.

But a big thing that stands out to me is that if you feel like you're being used stop whatever it is you're doing immediately. While he may have PTSD don't let that guilt you into doing something.

 

[RC0321]

I"m kind of in the same situation you are in. I don't find out until days or weeks later that something has triggered him. He just disappears. At first I was mad at lashed out at him sending mean messages and texts because I thought he was just being mean not realizing this is part of the PTSD behavior. I still don't understand why they run from the one's that want to help them. He likes being at my place too for the same reasons you listed above....and we do alot of the same things! I am currently in the pull back phase and trying to leave him alone and let him come to me. Trying to remove any worries of a "committed relationship" and just let him know that I am a "friend" and he is safe with me. But it is so hard because I just want to be with him. :(