Considering A Change

[Mercy]

Hi cragger,
What a relief it must be to have made this choice. Random visits sound like a good idea. That also gives you the freedom to go when you feel up and strong and to stay home when you need to be quiet.

There are alternatives for being a godfather. You could send age appropriate books to her about God. There are cloth books she can take to church with her. If you are Catholic, there is the option of going to a weekday mass together. Does she have a mother? Three and four yr olds usually are more comfortable with their Moms around. The three of you could do things together. It's always nice to have another adult around for conversation and help with potty breaks.

Whatever you choose, you can always pray for her. Little things count too like pretty cards in the mail. Kids love to get mail.

There is no need for you to put yourself in harm's way. Since being near your friend has beome toxic to you, removing yourself from the steady stream of poison is good self care.

God made all that we can see. It sounds like photographing creation and what goes with it can be an act of prayer too. If nature, then thank you, if a suffering soul then Lord have mercy....The most important part of self care in this context is to take care of your soul. Noone else can do that for you. It is totally up to you to take time with God and let his presence sooth you.

 

[cragger65]

Thanks Vorzha, that brings me some acceptance, and Mercy as well. I mostly like to photograph nature, old farms, tombstones. Anything that conveys the passage of vast time, or simply natural beauty. I do need to get back to that now, yes indeed.

thanks.

 

[Jestadud]

Not being a religous person I'm reluctant to offer advise here. But I want to help so I'll mention a few things I know about godparent's.
I'm a godparent to three.

First my much younger sister, because my parents wanted me and my older sister to be/feel part of the day.

Second one of my older sister's four childen, because they'd already used their best friend's and needed to make the numbers up.

Third one of my best friend's two children, because we're best mate's.

I have no idea who my godparent's were.
However I do remember as a child my Mum chatting with some bloke who she said was my older's sister's godfather, I remember because he gave my sister a coin but not me! Must have been about 5 at the time lucky I don't carry a grudge!!

So for me a good godparent woud only have to keep in touch, say remember birthday's and be kind to younger brothers or sisters.

Jesta

 

[freya]

I'm hoping the plan is working out and you can see the girl and not the father.
If he's such a pain in the neck she may be in need of a godparent when she gets older and maybe by then you can take her out for trips, or something like that?

I do feel you need to take care of yourself first. You can't be of any use to anyone if you get triggered all the time.