I have childhood trauma aswell as a massive trauma which happened during my 30's. I have never been the same since and my gp told me at the time of the most recent trauma, to bury it and get on with my life. So I did. It did not work as, it may of laid there underneath, but at some stage it needs to come out which is has been trying to, however, whenever I try and express how I'm feeling, my family (my mother in particular) says 'do we have to talk about this again' or 'you should be over that by now' or 'it's in the past, move on.' So I shut up and those feelings go back down with another friend called unimportant = unworthy = depression = no trust = isolation. She is also the main person involved during my childhood years.
I guess it's my fault too, as I can put on a pretty good face (so to speak) and act like I'm ok, but I'm so alone inside. So maybe my family think I'm ok. I don't know, it's like a job having to perform otherwise I might be rejected aswell as dealing with constant triggers and avoidance. Pretty screwed up hey.
I guess it's my fault too, as I can put on a pretty good face (so to speak) and act like I'm ok, but I'm so alone inside. So maybe my family think I'm ok. I don't know, it's like a job having to perform otherwise I might be rejected aswell as dealing with constant triggers and avoidance. Pretty screwed up hey.
