Hello Everyone,
I just wanted to take a second and share something that has really helped me not only get through, but also really feel better about everything, over the past couple of days.
Things have been really hard with my girlfriend, she is still hospitalized. Originally they told her she'd be there 5-10 days, we're coming up on three weeks, and she told me the other day she thought she'd be there til Christmas and she didn't want to get out anyway. I told her I couldn't get her Thanksgiving trip booked and I also told her I didn't want to talk when she was feeling angry or later than 9 at night, because it wasn't healthy for either of us. She didn't react well to either of these things, and it is such a rollercoaster still. I never know which D she'll be...I feel like there are two completely different people that I'm dealing with: the D I know and love, and then this weird, mean, angry, yelling, growling, manipulative D. And I can't stop answering the phone because the D I love is on the other end about 30-40 percent of the time, and when she does, that is such an amazing gift. But I've completely stopped calling her, which I think is good. She just calls me.
Anyway, despite asserting boundaries and being honest, I was still feeling sort of lonely and depressed and, as hard as I try not to, a little bit angry at her. I just was feeling like I really don't understand her, and that made me feel terrible.
So, I write. I'm majoring in creative writing, and currently in school. I haven't been able to write about this whole thing (D in Hospital, PTSD) because I think it was just too raw and everything that I tried to write about it came out like a journal entry, not a story or an essay. However, for my fiction piece for workshop this week, I just sat down and wrote a short story about a woman who is a soldier and in a mental hospital with PTSD, first person, from the soldier's point of view. It really helped me to have to totally put myself in that character's shoes in a totally non-judgmental kind of way, and since it was fiction, it was incredibly liberating. I felt like it gave me a better understanding of D's issues, and really just made me feel better in general.
Anyway, just advice for you fellow writers out there--journaling or blogging is good, but it is so helpful to try and write about things in a fiction piece! If anyone has any desire in reading mine so you can see what I'm talking about, I'd be happy to share, although after I write a story I usually put them through extensive revision and I haven't had a ton of time to revise yet, so it is sort of a rough draft.
I'm thinking of everyone, and also can't stop thinking about the victims and their families and the wounded at Ft. Hood...they are definitely in my prayers.
I just wanted to take a second and share something that has really helped me not only get through, but also really feel better about everything, over the past couple of days.
Things have been really hard with my girlfriend, she is still hospitalized. Originally they told her she'd be there 5-10 days, we're coming up on three weeks, and she told me the other day she thought she'd be there til Christmas and she didn't want to get out anyway. I told her I couldn't get her Thanksgiving trip booked and I also told her I didn't want to talk when she was feeling angry or later than 9 at night, because it wasn't healthy for either of us. She didn't react well to either of these things, and it is such a rollercoaster still. I never know which D she'll be...I feel like there are two completely different people that I'm dealing with: the D I know and love, and then this weird, mean, angry, yelling, growling, manipulative D. And I can't stop answering the phone because the D I love is on the other end about 30-40 percent of the time, and when she does, that is such an amazing gift. But I've completely stopped calling her, which I think is good. She just calls me.
Anyway, despite asserting boundaries and being honest, I was still feeling sort of lonely and depressed and, as hard as I try not to, a little bit angry at her. I just was feeling like I really don't understand her, and that made me feel terrible.
So, I write. I'm majoring in creative writing, and currently in school. I haven't been able to write about this whole thing (D in Hospital, PTSD) because I think it was just too raw and everything that I tried to write about it came out like a journal entry, not a story or an essay. However, for my fiction piece for workshop this week, I just sat down and wrote a short story about a woman who is a soldier and in a mental hospital with PTSD, first person, from the soldier's point of view. It really helped me to have to totally put myself in that character's shoes in a totally non-judgmental kind of way, and since it was fiction, it was incredibly liberating. I felt like it gave me a better understanding of D's issues, and really just made me feel better in general.
Anyway, just advice for you fellow writers out there--journaling or blogging is good, but it is so helpful to try and write about things in a fiction piece! If anyone has any desire in reading mine so you can see what I'm talking about, I'd be happy to share, although after I write a story I usually put them through extensive revision and I haven't had a ton of time to revise yet, so it is sort of a rough draft.
I'm thinking of everyone, and also can't stop thinking about the victims and their families and the wounded at Ft. Hood...they are definitely in my prayers.
