Coping With New Difficulties

[hodge]

Is it just me, or does anyone else have a really hard time dealing with new difficulties in their lives? I felt like I was finally getting on top of things several months ago with managing my ptsd and underlying issues, then I was hit with a series of hard situations and potential serious losses of people from my life. My dad had an organ transplant and is dealing with that (and doing really well so far); I found out I was getting laid off from my job of 18 years--economic difficulties, nothing personal, but still; a really close friend of ours had a quadruple bypass and is now battling a subsequent infection (in a VA hospital, of all places [yikes]), he and his wife just lost one of their cats while he was in hospital in a faraway city; another close friend has been battling cancer since almost the exact time I entered therapy for my ptsd, and she had a really bad scare this week; our older cat has just been diagnosed this last week with hyperthyroid (which killed another cat of ours last July). I know this is just life, but, darn it, I'm feeling overwhelmed. Any insight or suggestions would be really welcome.

A postscript to all this: I'm feeling super hypersensitive to religious stimuli at the moment (well, I guess it goes beyond this moment; I have a very hard time with the Roman Catholic Church's failure to really take responsibility for the sexual abuse stuff and what I perceive to be their really dysfunctional attitude toward sexuality..okay, I better stop there). I believe in God and I do pray about all these situations, but I am also getting terribly triggered with religious references, so, thanks in advance for being sensitive to that.

 

[anthony]

Hodge, I think its just like, and like it or not, these things aren't actually sent to us at any particular time just to intentionally coincide with our own problems to piss us off further. Life throws lots of spanners into the works, and murpheys law is that these things all happen at once. I think its more a test for us to simply see whether our coping mechanisms are as strong as we think they are. If they are, then we work through the issues and come out the other side a much better person. If not, then we either fall down and cry poor me, or we fall down and look why we fell, then take corrective action to overcome and learn from our weaknesses.

 

[willing]

Hodge you are talking exactly what pushes me. The idea of death and illness send me spinning every time. Infact a co-workers daughter unexpectedly passed away and when she told me it hit me just like when they told me my mother was dead. I thought I was fine but then wham, I was in the hospital 3 days later. I agree with Anthony, that we have a choice. I really choose to feel I am taking corrective action now and to learn from this weakness. I mean give me a break life goes on Patty and the more people you're around the more likely you will run into someone who is sick or dealing with death. So now I have to work on getting out and knowing that is what sends me then work on breathing and sharing about it. I have to get out in the world I just feel too weak right now to handle it. Anger is a symptom of what is really up. That is where the work is.
Patty

 

[hodge]

Anthony and Patty, thanks. When it rains, it pours. I guess, too, it's a function of getting older...your friends are older, and this is what happens when people get older. Guess I just had to vent a bit. I don't know how else to deal with this stuff except be as supportive to my friends as possible while also trying to take care of myself.

 

[madjon]

yip, was going along fine and had a big mess land in my lap recently, it can be trying in life when things happen, have had a lot of bad news in march, will be glad when its april, but life unfortunately has a way of cropping things up at times and its a bit of a testing period but we have to deal with life which is the hard part at times, new difficulties can be a problem to deal with at times, but deal with them we must and try to keep an even keel, there will be brighter days ahead, just have to remember that, and whenever you get knocked over by life to pick yourself up again and keep on going,

 

[moki]

My overreaction

Hi hodge,
I can relate. The big joke with my husband used to be that everytime something new or bad would happen, that it would be a big "trauma" for me. That was years ago and now it seems so ironic.

It is a constant struggle for me to not let the bad news pierce me to the core. Of course when it is something that has to do directly with me - it's harder to not let that happen. But even stuff that doesn't directly have anything to do with me can be hard to think about and process.

I'm guessing that it's just my super-sensitivity to my own stuff and somebody else's bad news reminds of my own stuff.

It is exhausting to be this way, but there is nothing else to do but find healthy ways to cope. I can really relate to this. hang in there.

 

[hodge]

Thanks for responding, Madjon and Moki.

I have struggles with being super-sensitive, too. It's really nice to hear from someone else with that challenge.

I've had bad troubles dealing with the news, such as reading about returning vets with all their physical and psychological problems, along with other news, not to mention the thousands of people in Iraq who have been killed, and thousands more who have had to leave. It's horrible. I've had to really curtail my exposure, because it affects me so strongly. I hate that, because I want to be informed, yet I know I have to take measures to protect myself.

Then, I think, how are people in Iraq able to protect themselves? It's overwhelming in my mind. We here have got it pretty good, regardless of our past traumas. What about people who are going through horrendous traumas right now that our government (i.e., indirectly, us!) are responsible for?! How do we deal with that???! (Personally, I beg off, since I didn't vote for this president either time, and I knew this disaster would happen before we invaded. Lot of good that does us now.) Sorry if this breaches the boundaries of political discussion. Just delete if it does. However, I have to say I believe that deleting the truth doesn't do any of us any good.

 

[Marlene]

I used to have a bumper sticker on a car I owned that said 'Shit Happens'. It seems like whenever I reach a relatively quiet point, things just hit the fan. Car accidents, issues at my daughter's high school, my husband was in an industrial accident in November and was out of work for six weeks. It would be nice if the world would either stop or at least slow down while we heal...unfortunately it keeps coming at us at the same speed as before. It's just that when you're not quite up to it, it seems that someone has turned up the speed.

You deal with what you have to. Worrying about other people and what might happen can be overwhelming, indeed! I've made it a practice if there's nothing I can do to change or affect a situation, then I make myself not worry about it. Nothing's going to change but me getting more upset. There's so much that happens in the world that people can get upset about. Taking care of your small corner is the best way to start any change...but you have to take care of yourself first.