I'm having some issues in my current relationship. we've been together for 9 and half years, we have 3 children together. When we first got together, things were good. It all moved quickly, we moved in together, and I was pregnant 6 months into the relationship, but as I said, we were good. I don't even know when it started but he pesters for sex, I've woken to him trying it on and he won't give up until I just give in and let him get on with it or woken to find him pretty much inside me anyway. He r*ped me March 2022. Sexual assault/attempted r*pe in July 2022 and r*pe in August 2023. I feel pressured sometimes. I feel strange, using the "R" word, when we've been together so long and obviously have had sex consensually before. I know the majority will wonder why I'm still with him, but he isn't a bad guy, I'm not scared of him. He's a great dad. no excuse, but it's only when he's had a drink. I'm trying to get passed all this but I'm finding it hard and what makes it even harder is that I have a history of childhood Sexual ab*se and and ex the r*ped me when I was 23. I'm currently in trauma therapy, but my partner has no idea because how do I tell him? how do I tell him I'm in therapy for sexual trauma when he has contributed?! I don't enjoy sex, at all! I will go along with it because I feel like I have to. I said no to him the other day, when I'd been out, he was sober, I wasn't and it was 5am, when I got in but because I said no, he started trying to make me feel bad and accused me of cheating. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to enjoy the intimate side of any relationship again and I don't know what to do with that. I'd speak to my therapist about all this but when I told her about the August r*pe, she referred it to children's services (children didn't see or hear anything, but they were in the house at the time, downstairs) Children's services have investigated and it's all been closed now, I just don't want to tell therapist all of this and she gets children's services involved again because I know there is absolutely no danger to the little ones.