Could I Create A New Trigger?

[itchy]

I was wondering if it could be possible to create a new trigger and flashback.

I was diagnosed with ptsd recently after an abusive childhood. The thing that confuses me is that It's been 5 years since I've moved away for school which ended the abuse. Shouldn't I stop creating triggers over seemingly mundane things? Could these new triggers relate to my past in a way Im not aware of? Or could this be because of my healing?

I lived in a near constant dissassociated state from 15-22. I'm now 24 and only dissassociate in sever panic attacks which I catch and can re-associate. Could these new triggers be because of all the new feelings and emotions I'm dealing with?

 

[marylouise]

Hi itchy,

Do you have a copy of "Courage to Heal" by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis? I used to say that it was my bible for healing from PTSD. There's a lot more information available now about recovery than when the book was published, but I still think that "Courage to Heal" is foundational. It's full of stories from survivors at various stages of recovery, and focuses on their strength and hope.

It sounds like you've made a lot of progress in your own recovery. What an accomplishment that you are only dissociating during panic attacks now! It must have taken a lot of work to get to that point.

Yes, it's completely normal during recovery to start responding to new triggers as you become strong enough to get in touch with new aspects of your abuse. Some say that recovery is like a series of spirals rather than a linear path upwards. You move steadily upward, but with upward movement you'll then be strong enough to deal with more memories and as you deal with them you seem to go backwards again. All that is just part of the spiral nature of this kind of work. It doesn't at all mean you're not moving upward. Don't worry!

I was struck by how young you are. I was in a similar situation to you when I started dealing with my abuse. I started my recovery at 20. It was very difficult. I basically couldn't function, because of the extremity of my abuse and subsequent PTSD. I was not happy about this. All I wanted was to go back to school or work a full-time job, and my childhood abuse was preventing this - how unfair!

Then, the middle-aged women in a support group I attended told me that they were jealous of me for starting recovery so young. They felt that they had missed out on decades of their life, which they had lived in a dissociated fog. They had made bad choices, and they had missed out on intimacy with their partners and children. At the time, I thought 'yeah, but .... you weren't forced to spend your 20s going to support groups on Friday nights.' Though their sadness touched me.

I realize what they meant now that I am the age they were then. I am so grateful that I did that work in my 20s (and it is work!). I've had wonderful, life-affirming experiences that I didn't even know were possible after growing up the way I did. You will too! There is so much ahead for you ....

 

[Justmehere]

The triggers could relate to the past in ways you are not aware of, or be a part of the over all nervous system hyperarousal state. For example, sometimes certain loud sounds will make me jump. Other times any sound at all will make me jump.

They could also be old triggers, but in the past you dissociated instead of feeling the panic and fear. When I'm dissociative, it's hard for me to tell what triggered the dissociation while feeling the dissociation, and often I only figure it out weeks or months later.

They could also be new triggers as your mind feels strong enough to feel more.

In time, I bet you will figure out what they are related to and be able to heal from them.

So sorry you are going through this. Sounds like you have made a lot of progress on reducing dissociation and are on your way towards healing - that's great!

 

[carharjo]

I find new triggers all the time!!!

One thing I have realized is that my anxiety is triggered... get this... by anxiety. When I get anxious about normal things, that usually ends up triggering the PTSD anxiety and my fears of being overwhelmed by my PTSD again. Then, those normal things become triggers.

Also, new experiences can bring up triggers you didnt even know where there before. The intricacies of emotions and how our brains perceive things goes so deep that we do not always realize it initially.

Good luck, darling!