Could This Be Triggering Flashbacks?

[Thesurvivor]

Hi,
Um..I don't usually talk about stuff like this (I'm new here..) but here it goes. My boyfriend has this "game" where he pins me down so I'll eventually agree to have...to do something. I've known him for 7 years, and I know he's just playing around but I'm noticing that after he does that, I tend to think about when I was sexually harassed.. It happened years ago, and I thought I was over it. The only thing that's similar is the sensation of being "trapped". When it happened, a couple of bullies had followed me into the school elevator. Nothing happened besides a creepy comment and him touching my face, but when I reported him I was also stalked and had my life threatened a few times..

So is it possible that the feeling of being "trapped" by someone I know I can trust is triggering these flashbacks? Or am I just a bit theatrical?

 

[EveHarrington]

No, you're not being dramatic. Even the most benign things can trigger flashbacks.

 

[Justmehere]

Do you agree to play this game? Are you able say no to the "something" you have to do before he lets you up?

It doesn't seem like flashbacks but memories of the past coming back with new events. Something as simple as a smell can remind me of past events.

I don't think you are being overly theatrical. This would be an upsetting and triggering game for many people --- even without having already been through past sexual harassment.

If you don't consent to the game and you don't have the freedom to not do what he wants you to do - then this could be new sexual harassment that's occurring too.

Consent is something that's freely given. Happily. Not in exchange for being unpinned.